I recently read an article on wellandgood.com that focused on psychologist and Harvard Professor, Natalie Dattilo’s tips for “End of Year Happiness.” Yogis have known for over 2000 years that many practices from positive psychology research are essential on the path to spiritual enlightenment. What was practiced thousands of years ago is still relevant today. Guess it takes a while for us humans to ‘get it’ sometimes. 😊

I wanted to take a moment to go over the Yoga practices that are in line with the 5 tips Dr. Dattilo writes about. None of it’s new, though it’s just important that we get reminders to keep coming back to what works.

Happiness is a Practice

I also want to give a reminder that happiness is not something that’s outside of us. It is a mind state that takes practice. These five tips and Yogic practices that go along with them are helpful, only if you keep doing them. Even better if you do them long enough so that they just become part of your lifestyle.  There is no ‘quick fix’ out there, no matter what modern marketing tells us.

The 5 ‘Tips’ or Practices for Happiness

Affirmations

1. I was so excited to see this as Dr. Dattilo’s #1 tip because I believe this is a powerful tool if used consistently, over a long period of time. “Repeat a Positive Affirmation to Yourself.” In Yoga, this is called Sankalpa. Sankalpa is an affirmation, or even more powerfully, a resolve or intention. It is a statement that is repeated throughout the day, as well as it can be used for Japa Meditation (repetition of a mantra). If you’ve worked with me in some way, chances are, you’ve created a Sankalpa. My question to you: Are you still using it??

Repetition is one of the ways that neuroplasticity is strengthened. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s ability to grow new neural pathways throughout our lifetime. It used to be thought that the brain stopped growing new neural pathways by around age 25. Turns out that’s completely not true! Our brains can heal and grow until the day we die. The awesome part about this is that negative thoughts and beliefs that we hold about ourselves and the world can change. And repeating a positive affirmation is a powerful way to change our negative core beliefs if you keep at it.

Your Values

2. “Assess Your Values” is the next tip. Values are beliefs about what is important to us in our lives. Integrity is living your life in accordance with your values.  Now, values can change, so it’s important to take time every once in a while to get clear on what your values are so that you can live more in line with them. 

When we aren’t living in line with our values, it doesn’t feel good. I’ve found that’s when self-doubt, judgment, resentment and many other difficult emotions can creep in. The positive, though, is when you feel one of these emotions, it’s a red flag to pause and get curious about where you might be ‘out of sync’ with what you value.

Satya, one of the Yamas (an ethical principle of Raja Yoga), means Truthfulness. When living in accordance with Satya, it means we are being honest with ourselves, as well as with others. It encourages us to ‘get real’ and look at what choices we are making that may be causing our suffering. Choices that, most likely, go against what we value. When you are clear about your values, they can be your guides to make conscious choices that support how you want to live your life.

Your ‘Why’

3. Dr. Dattilo’s next ‘tip’ is “Find your ‘why’.” A heads up, your ‘why’ will change so this tool is something to keep checking on. A great question is to simply ask ‘Why am I doing what I’m doing?’ This is a question I learned from my teacher, Prasad Rangnekar. If we aren’t clear on the ‘why,’ most likely we are living someone else’s ‘why.’ This question helps to find clarity and simplify life.

There are many stories out there of people who become a doctor, lawyer, or corporate worker because of their parents. Yet, they realize they are unhappy and their job isn’t at all what they want to be doing. It may even be causing part of the unhappiness because it wasn’t their ‘why.’ Those who are courageous enough, will find their ‘why’ and make the changes necessary to be in line with that purpose.

I know, personally, being clear on my ‘why’ has helped me say, ‘No, thank you,’ to some wonderful work and partnering opportunities that just aren’t in line with my ‘why.’ When I haven’t kept this boundary, I usually find myself overextended and feeling resentful. 

Finding your ‘why’ is also a helpful practice when the mind gets caught up in desires and impulses. From something small, like seeing a commercial and all the sudden the mind desires that shiny, new object to being clear on an action you will take and someone arguing why you shouldn’t do that, which creates self-doubt. These desires or impulses are just data that, without conscious consideration, can take over, leading you away from your clarity. Come back to your ‘why.’

Think of your ‘why’ as a personal mission statement. Businesses create mission statements and then revisit them regularly to make sure their projects are in line with their mission. Mission statements are also reworked every so often as things can change.

Acceptance

4. “Accept your life as it is right now, but stay in touch with how you want it to be.” Ahhhh, acceptance. Have you had moments in your life when you reached a point of acceptance? If you have, how did you feel at that moment? Chances are, you felt lighter, more expansive, and a sense of relaxation.

When you feel frustration, anxiety, or overwhelmed, most likely you aren’t accepting the present moment. Instead, you are focused on an outcome that you are trying to achieve or one that you are trying to avoid. This narrows our mind set and we often miss the ‘answer’ that’s right in front of us. 

Come back to what the facts are of the situation, let go of your story of the outcome, and focus on what you can control. Come back to your intention (#1), your values (#2) and your ‘why’ (#3) to also help guide you in your decision making.

When we come to a place of acceptance, our thoughts waves calm down. Have you noticed this? In Patanjali Yoga Sutra 1.2, the goal of Raja Yoga is stated as “complete cessation of thoughts waves.” So, working on acceptance is a practice of Yoga.

Acceptance…

• Isn’t passive. It’s not placating another person’s reactions or avoiding an outcome.
• Is an inner knowing. If you think you’ve come to acceptance and you feel worse, you’re not there yet.
• Is a sensation of letting go and being present to what is without judgement.

Appreciation and Gratitude

5. “Appreciate what you have.” The fifth tip (or practice) is another way to say gratitude. Gratitude is a practice of recognizing abundance, shifting away from lack. A mindset of lack, creates desire, greed, anger, etc. In the Bhagavad Gita (2.62-3), it is stated: 

“Thinking of sense-objects, man becomes attached thereto. From attachment arises longing and from longing anger is born. From anger arises delusion; from delusion, loss of memory is caused. From loss of memory, the discriminative faculty is ruined and from the ruin of discrimination, he perishes.”

Delusion is thinking that you are ‘less than’, ‘not enough’ or ‘not worthy’ without that object of desire. Living in that ‘delusion’ creates loss of your memory of abundance and gratitude, of your intentions, values, and ‘why.’ When we lose sight of this, we dive deep into suffering. Fascinating how the mind works, isn’t it?

So, please, make the effort, when you are struggling, to come back to gratitude and open your view to appreciate all that you do have.

Final Reminder

I encourage you to go beyond the word ‘tips’ and instead think of these 5 tools as ‘practices.’ A ‘tip’, according to Merriam Webster, is “a piece of advice or expert or authoritative information.” It’s data and data has no true consequence unless it’s used. Taking action with practice is what makes the information useful. Practice just one of these and discover if it’s true or not in creating more of a state of happiness for you.

Namaste.