As human beings, we are social creatures, wired to connect with a strong desire to belong. Being in a community is important to our wellbeing and supports us in learning and growing. Some of us thrive in lots of contact with others and some of us need less, but we all need some social connection for mental wellbeing. 

There is a quote in Sanskrit that I first heard from my teach that speaks to the importance of community in learning:

One fourth from the teacher, one fourth from own intelligence,

One fourth from classmates, and one fourth only with time.

AchAryAt pAdamAdatte, pAdam shiShyaH swamedhayA |

sa-brahmachAribhyaH pAdam, pAdam kAlakrameNa cha ||

To me, the quote shows that knowledge comes from both outside of ourselves and from within. We learn from other’s wisdom and experiences, our own experiences, and with maturity and time. A significant part of learning and growth comes from interactions with others – teachers and peers that make up our communities. 

5 REASONS COMMUNITY IS IMPORTANT

What I have personally found is that engaging in community can help with 5 things:

1. A sense of safety and security as trust and respect is built within a community.
2. Others can see things about me that I’m not recognizing and reflect this back to help me become more self-aware.
3. I can learn from other people’s experiences and vice versa.
4. When I share my experiences with others, it allows me to see them differently than when I’m just mulling over them in my head, which can help me to shift perspective and widen my view.
5. A community can help keep us accountable to focusing on our intentions and goals.

 

Many of us are taught to be “independent” and success is about figuring things out on your own. What I have found is that ridgid mentality can keep me from fully growing and expanding. I don’t know about you, but I can get lost in my head at times with stories that end up creating unhelpful reactions. When I subscribe to “I have to figure this out on my own” even though I’m struggling, it ends up hurting me. Being able to bounce thoughts off someone else can start to make sense of that muck. It helps me move from taking myself so seriously to getting curious and loosen the rigidity that is blocking me.

FEAR MAY SHOW UP…

I know that it can feel scary to be a part of a group, share and be vulnerable, but this is where amazing growth and learning can happen. If we stay in our heads, we are more likely to get caught up in old, limiting thought patterns. We are more likely to become frustrated and lose motivation. Many times anxiety and depression depend on staying isolated to control us. One of the symptoms of depression is isolation.

Most of us have been raised to not “burden” people with our problems or that our negative reactions and emotions are somehow “wrong” and shameful. I know that asking for help can be one of the hardest things to do. Then doing that in front of more than one person can be terrifying. But when we keep ourselves from taking that leap into vulnerability, we keep ourselves disconnected not only from others but actually ourselves.

Across the workshops, courses, and retreats that I facilitate, a common discovery is how much participants enjoyed being around other people. They liked hearing what others shared, understanding their struggles are normal, and learning what has helped other people. I’ve heard many times, “I’m just not a group person so don’t expect me to share much.” Then, that person ends up sharing the most! That belief was keeping them from fully expressing themselves.

Denying our need for deep connection means we are denying ourselves part of our humanity. This causes isolation from ourselves, which breeds negative thinking and negative moods. It’s exactly the opposite of what most of us want – to feel positive and feel ‘I belong’.

STRETCH YOUR COMFORT ZONE CHALLENGE

My challenge to you is to stretch your comfort zone around community engagement.

• Engage in one new community this month, whether it’s online or in person.
• Be an active participant by posting, asking questions, and introducing yourself to another group member.

It’s okay if there’s fear, worry, nervousness. The presence of these emotions doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something. Examine these reactions and see if there’s actually a life and death situation. Or maybe it’s just about you stretching your comfort zone. Doing new things also strengthens neuroplasticity within the brain. This is the brain’s ability to develop new synaptic pathways, allowing it to learn and adapt throughout our lifespan.

I recently joined a business program. (A comfort zone stretching action for me). Data that was shared about the number one predictor of success, which was posting in the social media community. Yep, engaging with the community to get feedback and share your successes.

Namaste.

If you would like to engage in community and dive deep into yourself while taking time to slow down and relax, consider joining my Yoga retreat April 16th-20th 2023 – SAY “YES!” TO YOURSELF, Learn Tools To Create a Confident, Balanced, and Joyful Life.