There are so many choices in life. Obvious choices like what to buy at the grocery store, what to eat for a meal, what to wear, what to do each day. Then there are also the choices we make without knowing we are even making a choice. These are more subtle. Thoughts we’re having about a situation, what perspective to take, how we talk to ourselves. One of the wonderful things that traditional Yoga practices do is they help us be aware of the subtle choices we make unconsciously all the time.

PROGRAMMING OF OUR MIND

Why is this important? 

Most human beings spend their whole lives run by these unconscious choices. Feelings of confused, doubt, and regret often come up when we aren’t consciously aware of choices. The conditionings we learned since birth end up running the show without us realizing it.  We mistake these patterns as ‘who I am,’ rendering us powerless to change them. Literally, we have lost control of our minds to subconscious reactions.

Thoughts, emotions, and beliefs happen when processing our experiences with the world.  Think of it like computer programming. When X happens, our programming automatically runs Y programming. For me growing up, when anger happened, the ‘avoidance’ program ran through.

For example, I learned at a young age that feeling uncomfortable emotions should be talked about. The programming that happened when a difficult emotion came up shoved it down and put on a smile on my face, pretending everything was fine. Even getting degrees in Psychology and Social Work, learning there were other ways to meet uncomfortable emotions, it was still hard for me to do something different. Programming is not easy to change.

Once I got curious and noticed the uncomfortable emotions, instead of avoiding them, I realized I could do it a different way. I’ve been deprogramming and reprogramming myself ever since. There are still ‘bugs’ I’m working out in this newer operating system. But, this process allows me to deal with and move through reactions to a conscious response that I feel good about.  

CONSCIOUS AWARENESS

When we start becoming aware of something, it’s like all the sudden a light is turned on and we can see more clearly.  Once we see more clearly, we can make a conscious choice to do things differently.

Have you ever walked a route over and over for years, then all the sudden noticed something different you’d never noticed before. After that, there’s no way to ‘un-notice’ it ever again.

It becomes part of your conscious awareness.

When you all the sudden realize things about yourself and your reactions, that self-understanding can not be forgotten. In fact, it will become louder until we find a way to integrate it into our decision making process.

CABINETS AND DRAWERS

An example of this comes from early on in my relationship with my partner when we first moved in together. I thought that closing cabinets and drawers when you were done with them is correct. In fact, it is disrespectful to not clean up after yourself in the kitchen. 

My partner doesn’t always do this. I would walk into the kitchen, see exactly where he’d been because everything was left open. It infuriated me. I would get pissed off and yell at him. I felt disrespected. After a while, I noticed that getting upset changed nothing and was negatively affecting my mental wellbeing, as well as the relationship. The awareness of how I felt after getting upset was like a thorn in my side, it got harder to ignore.

I remember clearly one day, with that awareness a voice in my head stated, “You have 2 choices here, Twyla, you either need to leave the relationship because you’re so angry and you can’t live this way. Or, you need to let it go.”  

I was startled and started to laugh at myself. Would I leave this relationship with this person who had so many wonderful qualities, who I enjoyed being around, and who I cared about…because he forgot to close some drawers and cabinet doors?

UNLEARNING THE REACTION

The answer was ‘No.’ Little did I know decision led me towards a greater lesson that ‘I am 100% responsible for my life.’

Getting clear on the ‘No’ helped me start a new habit to unlearn this reaction. Instead, the open cabinets and drawers became my reminder to practice sending him kind loving thoughts, as well as gratitude. And I’d take the 3 seconds it took to close them all.

On days when I’m tired and spent, that old reaction will rear its head sometimes. And because of my practice, I quickly notice it and come back to my practice.

BHOGA TO YOGA

I learned from my Yoga teacher, Prasad Rangnekar, “Bhoga to Yoga.”

Bhoga means experiencing life. That’s what most people do and get stuck doing. Experience, experience, experience.

But, when you take the experience to use it as an opportunity to gain more self-understanding and let go of limiting patterns, that is moving towards Yoga – Self-Realization.

By knowing ourselves more, we gain more and more control over the subtle choices that used to be unconscious. We gain more power and understanding, no longer slaves to our own ignorance.

So, the next time that you react, practice becoming aware of that reaction and consciously decide what action you’d like to take next. Notice what this practice does for your life.

You have more choice in your life than you realize. Awareness of the subtle choices

Namaste.

P.S. Have you reached midlife and are tired of how you react? Maybe it’s negatively affecting relationships? Or keeping you from moving through changes happening in your life? Discover the formula to move from Bhoga to Yoga and access the inner wisdom you keep hearing about. Get the Free Masterclass here.