Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? One you haven’t thought of in years? I had that happen to me about a month ago when someone I hadn’t heard from in years was summing up the past decade as ‘horrible.’ 

All of a sudden, “We didn’t Start The Fire” bubbled up from the depths of my memory…

“Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray

South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio…”

It was my mind’s way of reminding me that good and bad things are always happening. They have happened in the millennia of the past and will happen in the millennia of the future. 

ANCIENT WISDOM OF HAPPINESS

In the Bhagavad Gita, a Yoga text that is millennia old, speaks directly to this in Chapter 18.36-39. It states that happiness is three-fold:

🌿 Experiences that at first seem ‘poison’ – full of pain and danger – and then in the end are actually like ‘nectar’ – bringing sweet blissful joy.

🌿Experiences that create immediate happiness and seem like ‘nectar’ in the beginning. But in the end they are poisonous to us.

🌿And finally those experiences where happiness begins and ends in self-delusion and false perception.

These verses not only are a reminder that the human experience really hasn’t changed all that much over thousands of years…

But also that ups and downs of life happen. Our mindstate, or perception, is what creates most of that up and down within our mind and mood.

To further drive home this point, there is a wonderful parable about a Chinese farmer who has the inevitable ‘good’ and ‘bad’ experiences of life happen to him. His neighbors keep coming over to lament or celebrate what they name as ‘good luck’ and ‘bad luck.’ He doesn’t take the bait and just replies, ‘Maybe.’

THE REALITY OF REACTIONS

His neutral reaction shows his acceptance that change happens. Some of it feels positive and some negative. Instead of lamenting and ruminating, he just continues his work and lives his life. He rides the waves of emotion without needing to over-analyze or create meaning where there is none existing.

We have a choice in how we view changes in the world.

I could choose to fight, get angry, and blame others for what’s unfolding now in the US. And that would feed the very energy I actually want to decrease in the world. Fighting fire with fire only makes more fire. Or I can get creative and use that emotional energy to do it differently. 

In Billy Joel’s song, the chorus changes in its climax when he it goes from:

“We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning, since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No, we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight it” 

To add these words: “But when we are gone, It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on”.

One interpretation of this can be, “Well, crap if it’s going to keep being up and down, why bother, why not just give up?” 

Another perspective is accepting this reality of the nature of this world – change. And then, put energy into focusing on WHAT I CAN CONTROL…me, myself, and I. 

USING SELF-LOVE ACTIONS TO HELP

As a natural caretaker and helper, I find this extremely relieving. 

“Wait…I don’t have to be responsible for that?!  What a load off my mind! Now I can focus on what truly matters to me, my purpose, and how I show up to what life brings.

Typically, this type of thinking, especially for a woman, is called ‘Being Selfish.’ 

I like to call it ‘Being In Self.’ 

What I’ve found for all the women I’ve worked with over the years, is that those who understand this and practice every day connecting inwards, they seem to feel more calm relief on a regular basis.

Those who focus on what truly matters to them, clarify their purpose, and take up space…

Love themselves more fully, love the important people in their life more fully, and feel more loving towards all humans.

It’s February, the month of love. How about making it the month of cultivating more Self-love?

Because Self-love not only feels good, I would argue that it is necessary if you desire a more loving and kind world.

BUILD SELF-LOVE ACTIONS

Since each of us is unique, instead of telling you ‘3 things to do for self-love’, I want to support you in finding clarity in what 3 actions you want to make.

Grab a piece of paper.

1. First step – What does Self-love mean to you?

Take some time with this. Sit with it. What does love mean? And how does this look with yourself?

2. Second – What is keeping you from this Self-love?

Brainstorm. Just take 10 minutes and list down everything that comes to your mind.

3. Third – Choose 1 of those things keeping you from Self-love and come up with 3 actions you can take in the next week – think small and simple?

4. Fourth – Write these three actions up and start practicing them. See what happens!

Feel free to let me know your experience or ask any questions – tlgingrich@samyayogahealing.com

Shanti.

 

 

P.S. Schedule a Connection Call with Twyla at any time to create a plan of action when you’re ready to do what it takes to let go of stress and anxiety to find your voice, strengthen your relationships, and move through conflict confidently.