I had no idea that walking into a spare classroom at the American School of Bombay to attend a Yoga class for staff members would be the catalyst to an amazing love story.

THE GREAT ESCAPE PLAN

About a year and a half before that day, I had a great idea: Greg and I should quit our jobs and travel the world for a year. I had fulfilled my personal commitment of getting a career by graduating a master’s program, becoming a licensed professional, and on my way to making a name for myself as a mental health therapist.

And I was burned out. Four years into my career and I was struggling. There I was, doing what I do best. Listening and supporting others, mostly with adolescents at that time. But it was hard for me to leave work at the office. I would wake up at night, my mind working on someone’s struggle, with a great idea of how to ‘fix’ things. I put a lot of pressure on myself and, frankly, so did my profession.

This was when the idea to take a break by traveling the world popped into my head. Greg, on the other hand, was not as eager. He wasn’t comfortable with being unemployed for an entire year and spending money we had saved to do it. (This was way before being a digital nomad was a thing.) This is one reason, I believe, we do well together. There are ways that he grounds me and I ground him. There are ways that each of us pushes the other to stretch our comfort zone.

NEVER KNOW WHERE LOVE WILL COME FROM

So, Greg’s counter-offer to help me in my place of burnout was for him to get a job teaching internationally. I eagerly agreed. Fast-forward a year and a half. Now I was finding myself trying lots of things to escape my new role as a ‘traveling spouse,’ realizing not working was actually not the solution. But, struggling during this time ended up changing my life. For that I am eternally grateful.

No, this is not some sort of RomCom love story or some strange confession.

Walking into that Yoga class set me up to fall in love with myself. This was the missing key and has helped me avert burnout since. 

It wasn’t love at first sight 😍, but a continuing process of being able to look at myself in the mirror, face what comes up, and sift through the negative, fearful, and judging reactions so I can get at the heart of things. Most of the time, that means taking responsibility for how I fuel the reaction myself. 

I know from holding space for others now for two decades, that I’m not alone in the cycle of trying to escape myself. Continuing this cycle only leads to more emotional reaction and suffering for everyone.

In fact, humans have been addressing this cycle for millennia. The Yoga Sutras, written thousands of years ago, is a step-by-step guide to over coming suffering and calming the mind. The Bhagavad Gita, another Yoga text, is a dialogue based on one man, Arjuna, becoming so consumed by self-doubt and emotional reaction so strong, he’s decided to give up in a defining moment of his life. He is met with love from his teacher, Krishna, who lays out multiple paths of Yoga to help him shift his perception and move forward with clarity.

THE UNCONTROLLED MIND

The depth and skill of our mind to sabotage and keep us from truly being who we are meant to be is absolutely amazing! The mind is a powerful tool and it wreaks havoc in our lives until we learn how to master and use it correctly. It takes time and practice to master – not just 7, 21, or 30 days.

Until you start on this path, the mind only gets strengthened in this cycle by continued external messages to keep searching for answers outside of yourself. The more externally focused we all become, the less we are able to connect with who we truly are.

From that last statement, it’s easy for the mind to look at it and interpret that to mean, things outside of us are ‘bad,’ which couldn’t be further from the truth. All of us have been born into this world to live it and use it. For those who are reading this, most likely you are looking for more meaning for your life. Yoga doesn’t say to renounce this world and retreat to a cave in the Himalayas. Instead, it encourages us to use our life to the fullest in order to know who the “I” truly is. 

 More concretely, the ‘bad habits’ all of us have, happen because of the uncontrolled mind. It’s kind of like a live wire after a windstorm or the Tasmanian Devil in Bugs Bunny cartoons, creating drama and mayhem. The problem is we do everything to avoid ourselves rather than actually address the root cause of these habits.

Ever heard of a ‘dry drunk’? This is a person who has become sober but still doesn’t address the internal strife that led to excessive drinking in the first place. On some level, most of us are ‘dry drunks’ until we start doing the internal exploration necessary to transform our minds.

EXPLORING MY MIND

For some reason, I got the bug to start exploring my mind pretty early on in childhood and my curiosity with it continued to grow. I remember my mom once saying that I studied psychology to understand her parents better, but the truth is, I was drawn to it as part of my path to understanding myself.

Getting a BA in Psychology was just one part of my inward journey to understanding myself and mind. There’s been positive and negative experiences. The road has not been a linear one. But all of my life experiences have added up to me being exactly where I am right now.

A common thing I hear with people I work with is “why did it take me this long to get here. I wish I had done this sooner.”

My reply to them is there is nothing they could have done differently than exactly what they did to get them to this moment. Every moment led to this one.

FIND YOUR LOVE STORY

So, instead of looking at where we are at today as a character flaw or ‘not enough,’ take a moment to pause and try something different:

• What is something you are grateful about yourself right now?
• Reflect on the experiences, good feeling ones and painful ones, that led you to that gratitude. You might start from right now and look back, taking stock on the path that led you here.
• Now, take note, how do you feel about yourself right now and the journey?

I’d love to hear what comes up for you if you’re willing to share.

Another thing I know is that when I share, I never know what parts of my story resonates for others and for who…but when sharing from the heart, it almost always leads to connection in ways I could never have imagined myself.

Feel free to contact me through my website (https://samyayogahealing.com/contact/) or by email (tlgingrich@samyayogahealing.com).

Shanti.