As another year is coming to a close. It’s a good time to reflect on the past year and set an intention for the year to come. Typically people set goals around physical health and fitness, and ‘bucket list’ items to tick off. If you’re reading this blog, chances are you have a desire to find lasting change in a calmer mindset, cultivating self-love, and increasing meaningful connections. So, why not focus your new year’s intentions around these three areas. What’s the personal story you want to create in 2024?

PERSONAL STORY

Let’s first go over what I mean by ‘personal story.’ I define a personal story as the beliefs and thoughts, both conscious and unconscious, that a person uses to define ‘who I am.’

This personal story becomes our relative reality.

I say ‘relative reality’ because ‘ultimate reality’ is the state of our True Nature. Our relative reality isn’t ultimate reality, thus not the essence of who you are.

How do I know the personal story isn’t who you truly are? Because it changes. The personal story you have now wasn’t the personal narrative you had when you were 10 years old. It also won’t be the same story you use 20 years from now.

Our True Nature doesn’t change. The word ‘enlightenment’ is used for a person who knows the truth of who they are. Since we aren’t there yet, the present is our relative reality. Because it can change, we can work with it and change the story of how we define ourselves.

We have the power to uplift ourselves or bring ourselves down depending on the personal story we subscribe to.

IDENTITY CRISIS LEADS TO NEW PERSONAL STORY

Identity crisis is when there’s been a life change that challenges our current life story, showing us that parts of it aren’t as true as we thought. The crisis is the struggle to accept the change and new definition of self in relative reality or the present.

Loss, injury, illness, role change, and phase of life transitions tend to be common times for identity crises to occur. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, your thoughts, income, religious beliefs, gender…an identity crisis can happen to anyone.

It can also happen at any time in life. ‘Midlife crisis’ is a commonly known time when these personal shifts happen because of the phase of life changes that occur during this time. 

Changes like kids leaving home, parents aging, body changing and the reality that life is halfway lived.

The positive about these crises is that they are opportunities for us to shed a limiting belief or thought and step into a new personal story. A story that is more expansive and closer to our True Nature.

ONE OF MY IDENTITY CRISES

One of my ‘identity crises’ happened a decade ago when we moved to India for two years for my husband’s job. We were visiting Hampi in Southern India, a place that I had been dreaming of visiting while in India. Despite being in this beautiful, historical and spiritual place, I found myself in an irritable, mildly depressed state yet again.

After being negative and blaming my husband, I felt even worse about myself. It was at this moment I realized that being in a different place wasn’t going to make me feel better. 

The common denominator to all the times I have swung into depression was me, myself, my mind. This realization made a crack in my personal story and was the catalyst that led me to my first Yoga Teacher Training. This was an ‘opportunity’ that changed everything and catapulted me towards a lasting change of mind. A mind that finally let go of the depressive cycle it had been in for years.

One of the biggest changes in behavior for me was due to my Yoga practice. Traditional Yoga emphasizes developing a loving relationship with yourself. If you want to be able to manage your emotions well and find a calm mind, you must learn to treat yourself with loving kindness…just like you would a best friend.

3 PRACTICES TO CREATE A LOVING PERSONAL STORY

How can you start to be a best friend to yourself in 2024 and start to change your personal story?

• Start spending quiet time with yourself. Just 5-10 minutes.
• Question negative thoughts. Is that 100% true? Why or why not? 
• Speak with kind support to yourself, just like you would a best friend.

Maybe 2024 will be the year you begin to love yourself! This change would transform your personal story and your relative reality in amazing ways!

Namaste.

 

PS. I’m looking for 3 women who are stuck in the emotions of an ‘identity crisis’ and will do anything to find relief that doesn’t involve medication, therapy as usual, or reading another self-help book. If you are a midlife woman ready to invest in yourself in 2024 to find a calm, loving personal story, then consider watching my free masterclass to see if working with me is a good fit.