It was an unseasonably warm fall day and I had my window open, enjoying the fresh air and sounds of nature. I was facilitating an online group when all the sudden the noise from outside the window increased. This made it harder for me to hear group members as they shared. I took a moment to close the window…silence. I reflected how simple it is to close a window or door to have less stimulation and have a boundary with the world. But, when we are struggling with a noisy mind, there aren’t any doors or windows we can simply close. How can we have boundaries with a noisy mind?

THE INTANGIBLE MIND

The mind is more challenging to quiet because it’s not tangible. It’s made up of thoughts and emotions that are constantly changing. We can’t see them and it can be hard to be aware of them. The physical manifestation of thoughts and emotions is through our behaviors, which does involve the body. So, the body’s behavior acts as a communicator of our emotions and thoughts. 

UNDERSTANDING BODY BEHAVIORS

Let’s look at how you can create ‘boundaries’ with a noisy mind through our body’s behavior.

What are behaviors? 

• They are actions of the body. 
• They can be in the form of movement, body functions, and sounds from our mouth. 
• Emotions, thoughts, beliefs, desires, and expectations are the fuel of behaviors.

If I’m frustrated, it might manifest as clenched teeth, tight shoulders and hands becoming fists. Then I might have a forceful sigh or an ‘Argh!’ followed by words that show the feeling of frustration. 

These initial reactions are happening without me consciously choosing them. It’s hard to have control over them if you haven’t been practicing anything differently. Most likely, there are a lot of your initial reactions you aren’t aware of. You can’t set a boundary with a noisy mind if you aren’t aware of what it’s doing.

Typically, when we do notice the noisy mind, it’s become really loud and it can be hard to tone it down from this escalation. At this point, you might be trying anything possible to reel it back in. An urge to just turn it off quickly might take over, trying to avoid more escalation, embarrassment, or regret. Distraction may be the only thing that works to get instant relief.

Distraction has its helpful and unhelpful sides. 

NARROWING OR WIDENING YOUR VIEW?

Distraction is taking some kind of action (behavior) to get the mind’s focus away from its tirade and negative dialogue to something else. If you’re a parent or worked with kids, you’ve most likely used this technique to try to calm down a child. A lot of times distraction might seem good because of its quick relief but in the end, it can set up a cycle of escape and avoidance. Using it as a regular solution to deal with uncomfortable emotions can lead to negative habits that actually make a noisy mind worse. 

These are things like eating, screen time, drinking sugary drinks or alcohol, shopping, self-harming actions like cutting or vomiting, and mind-altering drugs. These behaviors narrow the view and limit options, creating a sense of feeling stuck or trapped.

There are also more healthy ways of distracting too. Things like talking to a friend or trusted confidant, going for a walk or other exercise, journaling, reading, playing or listening to music, engaging in a hobby, or simply noticing your breath. 

Instead of avoiding and escaping, these types of distraction behaviors help to widen the view of a situation. By getting a wider view, it opens up more possibilities to move through the challenging emotion. This can change how you perceive the situation to something less dangerous and manageable.

Tip #1 To control the noisy mind, first take a look at your distraction behaviors. Are they widening your view so you see more possibilities to move through. Or, are they creating a narrower view, making you feel stuck and trapped?

LOWER AND HIGHER MIND STATES

Distraction can’t be the only tool in your tool box if you want more control over a noisy mind and lasting relief. 

What is needed are Innercise practices.

These are practices that use resources you already possess within and are almost always available. You may not have learned how to use these inner resources but you still have them. Just like muscles that may be weak in the body from lack of use, your Inner Strength ‘muscles’ may also be weak. The good news is with practice you can increase your Inner Strength through Innercise.

Our inner resources come from the mind, which is a bit ironic since we are trying to calm and quiet the mind. 

There are layers to our minds, though. That initial reaction comes from a lower or more basic part of the mind that all animals have to a certain extent. Let’s call this our survival mind. This part of the mind’s job is to keep us safe in a world that we have little control over. When it senses any danger, it will react. Reaction is its main tool in the form of fight or flight and when those aren’t available, freeze. Think of the animal kingdom and you name animals that react through fight, flight, or freeze. 

INNERCISE QUIETS THE NOISY MIND

If you want a calmer mind and control over that noisy mind, Innercise practices help you get mentally stronger by learning how to access higher parts of the mind when there’s stress and distress in your life. One outcome of Innercise is strengthening the process of moving the mind from a reaction to a calm, clear response. Responding is when the mind can start to consciously think about options and choices in how to address a situation. This can only be accessed when the survival mind is dealt with first. 

The first Innercise practice every human on the planet needs to use daily is to pause and breathe. This practice is an important part of my 3-month Inner Roadmap™ Program and here’s where you can start right now to cultivate it in your daily life.

Pause is the practice of creating space between the initial reaction (energy, emotions, and thoughts) and the behavior you have the urge to do because of that initial reaction. Returning to the example above with frustration. If I continue with the reaction of frustration I might start spewing things out of my mouth that are hurtful and harmful, which I have to ‘clean up’ later. Plus, continue to escalate my frustration into anger.

But, if I can take a pause before the behavior starts, I can see if there’s a better option…one that doesn’t require a ‘clean up.’ This can help me to move forward and do something different, instead of staying stuck in the negativity of a noisy mind..

Tip #2: Work on answering these 3 questions:

• What happens in my body, breath, and mind when I react, i.e. when the mind gets noisy?
• Allow yourself to feel this so you get to know it. What do I notice?
• Then notice the breath and watch it for 30-60 seconds. What happens?

INNER STRENGTH THROUGH INNERCISE

Innercise strengthens awareness, slows down the reactions, and allows the energy of a reaction to move through instead of staying stuck or holding onto it.

These three questions are the basics of building Inner Strength.  So when a reaction does happen, you are able to be aware of it and face it to find a conscious response that fits the situation. You become in control of the mind rather than the mind controlling you. 

Remember, a noisy mind can’t be addressed on distraction tools alone. At some point, you’re going to have to learn how to turn and face the noisy mind to find the calm mind. The calm mind is already within you, just waiting for you to access it.

Shanti.

P.S. Interested in learning how to increase your Inner Strength through Innercise to find lasting calm? Let’s chat to get to know one another and how we might work together. Schedule a time to chat here.