Perspective creates our world. This time of year I often hear women share how they wonder what is wrong with them. They share having lower energy, feeling more down in their mood and thoughts, and having less motivation. It’s easy to look at these statements and label them as ‘depression.’ That analysis then leads to encouraging the person to seek out help to solve the problem of depression. We live in a society that values productivity, doing, and feeling good. Anything that doesn’t fit into those boxes is labelled ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ and ‘something to fix.’ But is this a correct conclusion?
UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU FEEL
My perspective about low energy, motivation, and mood in the winter months changed when I took responsibility for my reactions. What I mean by this is I learned to examine my reaction to own what was mine, since that was what I could control. Then I worked on letting go of the rest. The approach that created this shift was curiosity about my reactions. That curiosity showed me that I was not alone in feeling this way. Mother Nature herself was low in energy, motivation, and mood in the form of hibernation during this time of year
This was much different than what I had been conditioned to do with an emotional reaction. I had been taught that these 3 characteristics (low energy, motivation , and mood) were a ‘bad’ sign.
I noticed that this slower time in my body and mind wasn’t constant. It changed. My mind and body weren’t ‘always’ in that state during the shortest, darkest days of the year. Sometimes my body felt lower energy but my mind was active and bubbly. Other times my mind was in a low mood yet my body was energized and moving. Then, there were times when my body and mind were more similar, either in feeling more slow or having more energy. This allowed me to see a wider view of what was happening.
The label of ‘depression’ fell away as I embraced the patterns of my mind and body during Mother Nature’s hibernation period. Of course I felt that way – it’s normal. Now, I could be kind and gentle with myself. I experimented and encouraged rather than forcing and criticizing. Just as nature shifts into spring, my body and mind shift in their energy levels as the season changes.
CHOICE VERSUS FIX
When the word ‘depression’ is used to describe how my body and mind feel, fear inevitably shows up too. The desire to ‘fix’ becomes urgent and this vilifies the natural feelings my body and mind have. I’ve grown up being told through cues in society that depression is an undesirable, negative label, that one should avoid at all costs. Fear happens when we no longer feel safe, so any symptoms that sound like ‘depression’, set off a fear reaction of flight or fight. Instead of facing the reaction to move through it, now the reaction is something to protect ourselves against.
With the different perspective about low energy, motivation, and mood – that it is part of the hibernation phase all of nature goes thorough – all the sudden options and choices become available. With that shift in perspective, the mind doesn’t have to protect itself. Now it can be explored with curiosity.
When my mood feels lower and I observe it, I notice a pull inside of me to isolate. Getting curious about that, I notice a desire for connection that isn’t being met. So, I reach out to friends. Afterwards, I feel satisfied, connected, and calm. When the body feels sucked into the couch, I don’t need to judge it. I can explore it. Getting curious about that reaction, I notice a longing for fresh air amidst the heaviness in my body. I encourage myself to go for a walk and notice what happens. As soon as I stand up, that magnetic pull of the couch dissipates and the movement continues.
Just because we feel something or think something, doesn’t mean that’s the truth. It is only a snapshot of one perspective, of one thing happening in that moment. Just like one story about you doesn’t paint the broad depth of your experience in life, analyzing a moment, a word, a thought doesn’t give the full view of a situation.
THE LIGHT WITHIN
Holidays this time of year almost all use candlelight to represent the light within that is always present and everlasting. Connection with that light helps our minds to merge from the darkness of limited thinking. We forget about the light within us and get bogged down by daily life, mistaking ourselves for life roles and duties. The mind forgets that there is a wider view, that we are more than just our daily life roles, and that there is higher connection and meaning. To reconnect with that inner light requires taking time to turn inwards.
When it feels like there is only a story of darkness and fear…this is a red flag. The perspective you are seeing the world through has become narrow. That narrow view is exacerbating the story of darkness and fear. Here are some reflection questions that may be helpful to shift the mind towards a wider view. A view that allows you to see options and choices.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
What perspective is keeping you from seeing the whole picture – the dark, the light, and everything in between?
What perspective would you like to cultivate that opens your mind up to a wider view?
Brainstorm actions that you can take at this moment to start that cultivation process. Choose one action from this list to and put it into motion.
May you find peace, joy, and light everywhere.
Shanti.
P.S. Enjoy this video on facing your emotional pain or holding space for other’s emotional pain instead of rushing to fix, which ends up being more harmful in the end.