The verb, empower, is one that I associate with Self-Love. I’ve noticed over the years, as I practice loving kindness towards myself, I am empowered to treat myself with respect through my choices and actions. One area where this empowerment shows up is in setting and maintaining boundaries, which supports my need to live in integrity with my values. Empower is an action that cultivates and is cultivated by Self-Love. It’s a feedback loop.
EMPOWER DEFINITION
I searched for the definition of ‘empower.’ Interestingly, all definitions across five or so online dictionaries, define ‘empower’ as an action towards someone outside of ourself. What struck me about this was the idea that empowerment relies on someone else giving empowerment to us, rather than it being something that we can give to ourselves. Wow. Though this is a subtle nuance, it’s implications are huge. I believe empowerment can happen both in our relationships with others as will as our personal relationship with ourselves.
It makes me wonder if the use of ‘empower’ as an action within ourselves is a new concept or not within the Western world I don’t know the answer to this, just curious. When ‘empowerment’ is defined in language as coming from outside ourselves, it has the possibility of setting up a dynamic of power over, depending on how it’s used.
I know that there are countless examples of someone, who is well-meaning, going into a community and telling them what they need to improve their lives. They bring in those changes to the community and once they leave, things go back to the way they were or worse. This isn’t empowering. Rather, it’s assuming because you have resources the other doesn’t, you know better what is needed. Even though these actions come from a well-meaning place, it is still a form of power over.
To help empower another is to allow them to search within and discover, not only what they need, but also realize they are capable of taking action to fulfill this need. It’s believing that each person already has what they need within, they just might not be aware of it yet. (This is Yoga).
A REVOLUTION
I’d like to offer that empowering yourself by taking actions of love toward yourself, valuing yourself to set and keep personal boundaries, and treating yourself kindly is revolutionary. Most of us have been taught to live through a mindset of fear and lack. I can’t tell you how many times I hear confusion between self-love actions and selfish actions. The confusion is usually around actions which involve doing something nice for oneself or saying, ‘no,’ to someone. A huge part of my work with women is around helping them to feel empowered to unlearn patterns of lack and fear. To unlearn patterns that keep them from being kind and loving towards themselves without guilt or judgement.
Can you imagine what this world would be like if more and more women realized they can consciously choose to start living more from a place of love? To reclaim personal power, not ‘power over,’ but ‘power with?’ What would change for you if these belief and action shifts started happening in your life?
Take a moment and think of who you feel inspired by. What about that person inspires you?
I know for me, the majority of people who inspire me are those who have been empowered to live with integrity, value themselves, and respect others. They face difficulties and gain self-understanding from those challenges. They then use this new knowing to uplift and motivate others to find their power.
Coming back to the definitions that define ’empower’ as an action that happens from one person to another. It may be that for most of us, empowerment may first come from an external influences that shows us what is possible or encourage us to imagine what is possible. Then it is up to us to take that energy and internally empower ourselves to take action towards the change we want to see in ourselves or the world. Empowerment is an essential part of taking responsibility for our life.
EMPOWER AND YOGA
And what does ‘empower’ have to do with Yoga. It is a key action in the goal of all Traditional Yoga paths. This goal is called moksha, meaning Self-realization, enlightenment, or knowing our True Nature. In all paths of Yoga that I’ve learned about, what is reiterated over and over is the importance of exploration and self-understanding. It’s not blindly following what someone else tells us is Truth, it’s experiencing it for ourselves. What could be more empowering than that? And what could be more of an act of self-love than taking action to fully know yourself?
Developing empowerment from within is a key part of the journey. Here is one example of empowerment taught in a well known Yogic text, the Bhagavad Gita. In Chapter 6.5-6 it states:
One must deliver themself with the help of their mind, and not degrade themselves. The mind is the friend of the conditioned soul, and their enemy as well. For one who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, their mind will remain the greatest enemy.
PRACTICES
Let’s shift our focus to a few concrete practices of self-love that cultivate empowerment within. I encourage everyone to take time, daily, to practice self-love. It’s necessary to counteract our years of practicing the opposite.
1. Simply take a few moments to place both your hands on your upper chest/ heart area. Feel the energy of your hands while you consciously breathe and repeat in your mind one of these statements: “I am safe and secure.” “I am kind and loving towards myself.” “I am here.”
2. Connect to your body with joy. There are so many ways to do this. The key is to be present to the movement of your body. Maybe you turn on some uplifting music and just let your body move freely, letting go of worry or judgment. Possibly, it’s going to a Yoga Asana class that moves more slowly with focus on the breath and sensations in the body. Or maybe it’s going to a playground to run around and have fun, connecting with your inner child. We may have aches and pains that limit our bodies. But, notice what happens when you try to find joy in whatever movement your body can make.
3. This can be a more challenging one, but very powerful, especially if practiced regularly over a period of time. Take some time to think of someone in your life who you hold dear. Someone you love and inspires you. Write 5 positive sentences to them starting with “You.”
Now, find a mirror, pull up a seat, and look into your eyes. Read those sentences to yourself. You might set a timer for 1-2 minutes and keep repeating those sentences. Notice what happens. This may be very challenging at first, though over time, it will get easier to take in kind words towards yourself.
TIME, NOT MONEY
You may notice these three practices have nothing to do with buying something. Yes, it is nice to treat ourselves at times, especially if you have a hard time spending money on yourself. But, this isn’t the only way to show love towards ourselves. Think about people you care for in your life. Do you feel more connected when they give you things or spend money on you? Or, is it when they spend quality time just with you?
It is powerful to spend time with yourself, speak kindly to yourself, and cultivate a positive relationship with yourself that has nothing to do with money. Become your own best friend.
Shanti.
P.S. If Self-love is a practice you want to invite more into your life, I invite you to check-out this free resource: 28-Days Of Self-Love.