Happiness is not a destination, it is a state of mind. It takes practice.
I came across Laurie Santos’ work, a Yale Happiness professor, in a Newsweek article recently. She shared about 5 practices that will make you happier: “Get Social, Give Thanks, Be in the Moment, Rest and Move, and Be Kind.” She shared in the article that she received hundreds of letters from people who practiced these over 2020 and, despite the challenges of this year, felt significantly better during this time than they would have otherwise.
I smiled when I saw these 5 things on Laurie Santos’ list. All of these practices are specifically parts of the path of Yoga.
GET SOCIAL
A saying in Yoga is that ¼ of spiritual learning comes from the Guru (spiritual teacher), ¼ from a Sangha (spiritual community), ¼ from studying spiritual texts and scriptures, and ¼ from maturity.
Being a part of a Sangha is important to help a person stay motivated on the spiritual path, to feel connected to a group of like-minded individuals going through similar struggles, and learning from each other.
A Sangha also provides a way to practice encouraging and lifting others up. That’s being able to be happy and supportive of another because there’s room for all of us to succeed. Our modern society is based more on lack, that we have to be the ‘best’ to succeed and we are competing against each other. This creates division and separation. Being a part of a Sangha is a reminder that we are much more similar than different, which creates connection.
Witnessing another person’s “Ah Ha” moments of personal discoveries can be inspiring and motivating. It is an opportunity to be yourself, share and receive feedback. It provides a sense of belonging.
At the heart of it, we, as human beings, are a social species. There is a reason we’ve been created this way and accepting it allows one to fully embrace being social as a way to connect more fully to our spirit. I know in those moments where I am truly present to another person’s process, it is like time has stopped. The feeling is complete love for another person’s process because I can completely identify with it as similar to my own. In that moment, there is an experience of oneness. And oneness is where the state of pure joy and happiness lives…at least in my experience thus far.
GIVE THANKS
Yoga as a spiritual path guides us to focus more on abundance, rather than lack. When we are caught up in the material side of life as truth, proving we are good enough tends to be the focus. If you don’t have this car, that house, this amount of money, that new gadget…then you aren’t successful. It’s a pretty narrow point of view of success and in the end, all of these things are impermanent. So, striving for happiness in the material world can never lead to lasting happiness because none of those things is lasting.
Instead, focusing on all the amazing things we already have, as well as for all that life brings, leads us to gratitude. Yes, what I’m grateful for changes because things come and go, but the moment of connection to what already is, is expansive and empowering.
The practice of gratitude has helped me let go of things and just enjoy the moment as it is. For example, I’m grateful for the time I have to be able to write this blog article. It’s allowing me to reflect, connect to myself, be honest and genuine, and my heart feels light and full. I know this will end but I am looking forward to what the next moment will be, whether pleasurable or challenging, because it’s another opportunity to learn and grow.
This practice alone, connecting to gratitude, can’t exist with lack. It’s impossible, at least from my experience. Don’t take my word for it or all the research out there now about gratitude and happiness, experiment for yourself and see what you experience. This is Yoga.
BE IN THE MOMENT
I’m going to let you in on a secret…Yoga is not a physical (asana) practice. Yes, physical postures are a part of Yoga, but they aren’t the totality of Yoga. It’s like saying someone has brown hair and that is all they are, which we all know isn’t true. A person is more than their hair. Yoga is more than a physical posture.
The asana practice of Yoga allows a person to start becoming aware of their body, breath and sensations. This awareness practice allows for a deeper inner process of self-understanding to happen. This can only happen if a person is present in the moment and not thinking of a hundred other things that have nothing to do with the present moment: “What am I going to eat,” “Who won that football game,” “What did my brother say to me again,” “Did that person just give me a look,” “Oh my god, I have so much to do today…”
What makes Yoga asana practice different from just physical exercise is interoceptive awareness (the awareness of the internal state of the body). The body is ALWAYS in the present moment and can help to bring our mind to the present, letting go of the constant dialogue in our mind that goes from past to future and back again. The mind feels calmer after a Yoga class because it’s more in the present moment afterwards. And I don’t know about you, but it sure does feel great to be more in the present moment.
If your mind is in the present, it can’t be in the past or future, so it can’t create a story that then fuels all kinds of emotions and thoughts that just aren’t true. Being in the moment is where the state of joy and happiness live.
REST…
We live in a time where doing, being busy, and thinking are highly valued…and it’s slowly killing us. It’s not that doing things is bad, it’s when we are excessively doing them that our whole system becomes out of balance.
Our system is built to spend time in both doing and rest (sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems respectively). We need both to survive and thrive. These two energies are in all parts of nature. It is the most natural thing to rest after a period of doing, as well as ‘to do’ after a period of rest.
Yet, modern society insists on pushing this threshold of doing until our system demands rest in forms of illness and injury. Just this past week, I reminded several people about how much they pushed themselves over the last month at work and the exhaustion they feel is normal because they need rest. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong. It doesn’t mean they are depressed. They just need rest.
Lack of sleep and rest has become an epidemic that has led to many mental and physical illnesses. Sleep is the time our body has to rest and repair itself from the day. It’s kind of like not taking care of an issue with your car right away and then over time, with the lack of care, something major breaks down. It ends up costing a lot more time and money to fix than it would have to do the preventative maintenance. It’s the same with our body and sleep is a major part of maintenance upkeep.
Meditation is a main practice in Yoga because in order to go inward, become aware and be in the moment, we have to slow down and be still. Spiritual practices can’t happen without it. Meditation is a form of rest. Just taking time to be still and notice yourself has an amazing, positive impact on our overall mind and body health.
…AND MOVE
And movement of the body is also important. It facilitates release of ‘feel good’ neurotransmitters, it helps movement in the lymphatic system, and it keeps the body agile, flexible, and strong so it can support you better during its lifetime. It is why, in the Hatha Yoga path, movement of the body (think a typical yoga class) is part of the spiritual process.
I don’t know about you, but I haven’t met very many happy people who are chronically ill, injured, or sedentary. Movement of the body can’t be the only tool in the tool box (again excessive movement also is harmful), but it is an important tool to use. When the body has balance between movement and rest, it will fulfill its purpose most effectively.
BE KIND
I can’t stress the importance of being kind – self-compassion and self-love – enough. Being kind is not about letting ourselves “off the hook,” which is more about fear. Being kind is loving ourselves enough to be honest while encouraging, motivating and inspiring ourselves to be…well, just yourself. Can you imagine waking up feeling enough, with nothing to prove? What would you do differently if you believed, “I am enough?”
One of the experiments you can do with a friend is the arm strength test to show how being kind, quite literally, strengthens us. Get a friend to push down on your arm while you both say negative things to yourself. Then, switch to positive statements. Notice what happens.
In Patanjali Yoga Sutras, 2.33, the practice Pratipaksha Bhavana is mentioned. This sutra guides a specific practice: When a negative thought happens, to cultivate the opposite, which are more positive types of thoughts. This is a practice to help calm the mind. In other words…Be kind to yourself!
The more kind we are to ourselves, the more kind we will automatically be towards others, guaranteed!
All five of these points to create happiness are related to each other. They are related and build on each other. There will be times when they are easier and other times they’re really hard to do. But, the more you practice them, the more they will become a part of your habit.
My advice is to choose one to focus on. Hey, we’re about to come into a new year, so why not create an intention of doing one of these five practices for the next year and see what happens. I’m going to bet that you’ll inadvertently end up doing them all by the end of the year.
Namaste.