You actually have more choice than you could ever have imagined! There is choice in every situation, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Many times our reactions (thoughts and emotions) tell us a different story. It’s like we’re taken on this rollercoaster ride without realizing we can get off at any time. It’s our stories around the reaction that cause our drama and suffering. Changing it is just a matter of consciously deciding, “How do I want to show up in life?”

EXCUSES

I know that deep within, there is this longing for more peace of mind, more contentment, and more enjoyment in daily life. But the story of deadlines, ‘to dos,’ ‘have tos’, and obligations just piles on, making it feel impossible to get out from underneath. We tell ourselves, “when X gets done, then I’ll relax/take time for myself.” Only, that time never comes, right? Life keeps happening so there’s “never any time” to relax and be with ourselves.

Well, I’m here to call “Bullshit!” Really. I mean, you’re more than welcome to stay in this hamster wheel of the status quo, pointing at all the excuses to why you can’t slow down, take time to relax, carve out time to just be with yourself every day, etc. That’s your choice. Yes, it’s a choice.

A DIFFERENT CHOICE

But, if you’ve gotten fed up with this, I’m telling you, there is a different choice. Just like the saying goes, when you point one finger at something or someone else, there are three fingers pointed back at you.

My husband also has a saying – “There are a million excuses why you can’t do something. You have to find the one reason you can do it.” 

In every…single…situation…we have a choice to take responsibility for our reactions, to turn them into a conscious response or let the reaction take over. 

The reaction = A story not fully based in the present. 

You see, most of our reactions come from patterns we’ve established early on in life. Those patterns keep repeating themselves over and over and over again. We even define ourselves as those patterns. “Well, that’s just who I am.” Those patterns can change, so they actually aren’t who you are. 

If you’re ready to start calling ‘bullshit’ on your reactions, awesome! Let’s do it!

DO IT DIFFERENTLY

A concrete practice is to start getting curious about all your reactions:

• “I hate bananas.”  Really, why? When’s the last time you had one? Maybe try it again? (This one comes from my nephew, who tried a banana this summer after not liking them for many years. He was beside himself with excitement that he now LOVES them!)
• The charge of anger when someone cuts you off driving. Get curious about the anger. 
• Waking up and the urge to stay in bed after you committed to getting up to do your Yoga practice. Get curious about the change of heart.
• Feeling frustrated at a family member or friend. Get curious about your reaction.
• Overcome with excitement about some recent positive news. Get curious about how excitement feels in the body and mind.

Make this your new belief: Emotional Reaction = Curiosity

This shift is life changing. Instead of the reaction taking over, causing behavior that you don’t like, curiosity allows you to stop and do it differently. It allows for pause to create space from the reaction so you can actually decide how to respond. It’s empowering.

Here’s a video where I guide practicing being awareness of emotional reactions: https://youtu.be/wKGJN9z-1nw

I’d love to hear how getting curious helps you choose to turn inward and find more control in your life. Also, let me know if you have any questions!

Namaste.