What is one of the most common mistakes humans make? Thinking that we will be complete, enough and happy by things outside of ourselves. 

“So often, when we feel lost, adrift in our lives, our first instinct is to look out into the distance to find the nearest shore. But that shore, that solid ground, is within us. The anchor we are searching for is connection, and it is internal. To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves…” -Brené Brown, “Atlas of the Heart”

For most of us, we spend a lot of life feeding the external parts of life at the expense of developing a relationship within. When we do this, we are neglecting our most valuable resource…ourselves. Imagine a tree. Trees spend a considerable amount of time and energy developing a strong root system. This root system nourishes the tree and keeps it stable no matter what’s going on with the weather. Roots keep the tree connected to the subtle communication that goes on underground, which helps keep it safe.  Without a strong root system, a tree will not last long.

The modern world  values being busy, focusing on accumulating money and material things, and looking outside ourselves for self-worth. Is it any wonder that so many people are struggling emotionally and mentally. In fact, the World Health Organization lists depression as a leading cause of disability worldwide. (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression) 

EXTERNAL ONLY

Most of us are taught to look outside of ourselves to feel better. It’s not that this is bad, not at all. Things like eating well, staying hydrated, regular exercise, good sleep, cultivating healthy relationships are all important lifestyle habits. The issue is we put all our eggs into the external basket, ignoring our inner tools and relationship with ourselves. Since the root of many of our emotional and mental struggles come from the mind, in order to truly heal and grow, we need to address the mind.

There’s a parable I like:

There’s a man in a village, who has lost his key. It is dusk and he’s trying to find it before it gets dark. He dropped in somewhere outside his home. As he’s looking, a friend comes along and asks him what he’s doing. The man shares that he’s lost his key and his friend joins him in looking for the key. About 15 minutes go by and the friend asks the man where he last saw his key. The man points about 30 feet away and states, “Over there.” The friend asks, “Then why are we looking over there?” The man replies, “Well, the light is better over here.”

It seems easier to go on vacation, spend money on the gym, go for a massage, even take a pill, than to pause and get curious about ourselves and our reactions. It’s fascinating how we will run around in circles and distract ourselves to avoid stopping and being quiet with ourselves. Do you find yourself doing this?

THE IMPORTANCE OF INTERNAL PRACTICES

Again, it’s not that we shouldn’t do the external things. This issue is that we need both internal and external tools and practices. Many of us found out over the past two years, when the external things aren’t available, we can really struggle. We need to be able to fall back on internal resources to manage emotions and stressors. I can’t tell you how much my internal practices of breathwork (pranayama), mindful self-awareness, meditation, and an attitude of curiosity have helped me manage stress over the pandemic. The times that have been more challenging, it was also these tools that helped ground me and find my way back to clarity and calm. I’m forever grateful to have and continue to cultivate inward practices.

Has feeling lost, struggling with depression and anxiety, starting to fall into self-destructive habits, and feeling completely overwhelmed with every change and challenge the past two years been common for you? Then I encourage you to ask how your relationship is with yourself. Do you enjoy time with yourself? 

Why not make 2022 the year you started learning how to be more compassionate, loving, and patient with yourself?  I can’t imagine a better gift.

BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

Join myself and my dear teacher, Prasad Rangnekar, for a Yoga workshop focused on this: “Be Your Own Best Friend.” On January 29th from 6-9pm MST, after a Yoga practice that is focused on cultivating inward awareness and loving kindness towards yourself, Prasad will join us from India to teach us about Yoga and relationship with self. 

Prasad was introduced to Yoga at age 9 to manage his energy and learn how to focus better through the practices of asana and pranayama. At age 16, after a life-threatening illness, he became immersed in the tradition of Yoga that has led him on spiritual pilgrimages, studying with a number of inspiring teachers, going into yearly silences for 3-4 months, and teaching his own dedicated students all over the world. 

I met Prasad almost 12 years ago while living in Mumbai, India. 10 years ago I took my first Yoga Teacher Training with him and I have been a dedicated student of his ever since. Prasad’s guidance and teaching has helped me to cultivate a more loving relationship with myself through the practice of Yoga. I invite you to come and be inspired to transform your inner relationship with yourself!

Sign up: https://samyayogahealing.com/workshops/

Namaste.