I just spent a week in the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina for a small family reunion with my in-laws. It’s a beautiful place overlooking a lake that reflects the lush, thick forest that surrounds it. Life is slower there. Time is spent filling the space between meals with time on the lake, a daily outing, and time to relax and do nothing. With each passing day, I observed my mind letting go of the details of daily life to enjoy being present and feeling content. It was a week where my mind slowed down, becoming less busy and urgent. But all vacations must end. This is why a lasting peace of mind is not a physical place, rather, it is due to our state and attitude of our mind.

CHASING PEACE OF MIND

Most of us chase after the next break or vacation, mistaking the temporary letting go of routine for the way to peace of mind. In that mistake, we work hard, push ourselves, and compromise daily routine that calms the mind for the idea of a relaxing vacation. There’s nothing wrong or bad about vacations. The issue is we create more anxiety and stress when we attach a peaceful mind state to a place. The mind justifies burning the oil at both ends and sacrificing self-care activities because ‘I’ll be doing nothing and relaxing soon.’. Vacations end up more of a decompression period rather than a time to be fully present and enjoying where you are.

This is not true peace.

The veil of this misunderstanding and justification, keeps us focused outside of ourselves. The truth of cultivating peace of mind is that it doesn’t depend on what’s happening in the world. It depends on the lens with which we view the world. It’s an inside out process, not the other way around.

I can remember many times when I’ve pushed myself harder the week before a vacation break, exhausting myself. I enter a long awaited break depleted and numbing out to decompress for a few days. When I recover, I usually get a couple days of being present and enjoying myself then it’s back to life again. Barely recovered, back to pushing through until the next break. The cycle repeats itself over and over.

PEACE IS AN INNER STATE

There’s a specific memory I have of a friend, who I just finished backpacking with, was stuck in this loop. She said that she wished she had more time out in the wilderness. Then she stated, “I’m glad I already have another vacation plan so I have something to get me through.” I felt so sad and I empathized as I’d been there so many times too. And, in that moment, I also realized that I had made a shift. I was done putting energy towards that pattern. Now I put my effort into creating a life and habits that create a peaceful mind lifestyle. Focusing on true, lasting peace of mind.

So how does one make this shift and create a lifestyle of peace rather than chasing moments of peace?

The mind tends to do what it’s been trained to do – go out into the external world to solve inner conflicts and struggles. Changing jobs, activities, relationships to feel better. But in reality, the issue is within us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women in my Inner Roadmap Program share when they use the framework I teach them in their relationships – with kids, spouses, and friends – everything changes. Focusing within and taking responsibility for their reaction ended conflict. There was more calm in their mind. They felt more connected.

The secret is, not that you need more money, time, or stuff to find peace. It’s actually letting go of those external things and focusing on what’s happening within. When you address the root cause, the ‘solution’ will naturally happen. There’s no need to stress, control, and worry. What needs to happen next will happen as you take the necessary action towards what is in your control. 

3 STEPS FROM YOGA TO CULTIVATE A LIFESTYLE OF PEACE

Peace of mind can be found at any time, anywhere by refining the perception of the mind. It is an inside job within your mind. All it requires is for you to live your life, do your work and change the attitude to which you do it. 

One of my favorite verses from Patanjali Yoga Sutras 2.33, gives a specific practice to shift into a lifestyle of cultivating peace of mind. It states that when there is a negative thought wave, cultivate the opposite. The practice and implementation of these words is as follows:

• Awareness of negative thought waves within you.
• Take some time with that reaction to gain understanding.
• Action towards the opposite of that thought wave to move through the reaction 

Keep repeating this practice over and over again and you WILL observe your mind start to shift. 

All the sudden, where there was a reaction in certain situations, that reaction is no more. In that space calm, clarity, and peace of mind flow in more and more. 

It may seem impossible and far-fetched. You might even tell me, “I’ve tried this already, Twyla.” But I guarantee that if you commit and practice this until you no longer have to think about it because it’s your habit…

There will be a remarkable shift from reacting to responding. From anxiety, worry, and stress to calm, clarity, and contentment.

STILL TAKE VACATIONS

You can still travel and go on vacations but they won’t be what you depend on for calm and peaceful moments. There will just be more opportunities to practice peace within because when you live a lifestyle focused on peace of mind – every situation helps to get you there. Not just breaks and vacations.

If this is what you’re desiring in your life, there’s no need to waste another moment! Start here with this free training.

Shanti.

P.S. If you’re curious about my 3-month online course for women stuck in anxious reactions who are ready to let go, find their voice, and move through conflict confidently…let’s chat and see if it’s a good fit. Schedule a free, 45-minute Connection Call here at any time.