It’s the holiday season! For most people, I know this can mean an increase in busy-ness with holiday parties, gifts to be bought, trying to wrap up the year. For some, it’s difficult due to lost loved ones or maybe past holidays weren’t filled with positive memories. With all of this, it is more important to take time for yourself and not run yourself ragged. It’s time to redefine self-care on your terms!
Imagine if you ended 2023 relaxed and calm? What would have to change for this to happen?
SILENCE – IMPORTANT YET DIFFICULT TO DO
I have just been reminded about the importance of time for self while visiting Ramana Maharshi’s ashram in Tiruvannamalai, India. As someone who self-realized at the age of 16 by facing an overwhelming fear of death he felt with internal inquiry, his teachings focus on being in silence with yourself. This is something most of us rarely do and even actively avoid.
In fact, there was a 2014 study published in Science from the University of Virginia found that “65% of men and 25% of women” who participated in the study would rather administer an electric shock to themselves than sit quietly for 15 minutes. Even after they all agreed they would pay money to avoid electric shock.
Our minds are on overload from the ‘doing’ button being stuck on ‘play.’
PATTERNS MAKE IT HARD TO RELAX
The body and mind, especially our nervous systems, need rest to recuperate and function well. But worry about the future, trying to make others happy, and doing way too much keeps the nervous system overstimulated. Then, when there’s a moment to rest and relax, it feels so foreign to the body so down time is sensed as a dangerous place to be.
This may be your pattern but it can change. And, I recommend for quality of life, connection in relationships, and mental well being, making it a priority to calm the mind. To do that, you must slow down and find quiet time with yourself regularly.
At first it will be challenging and with practice being able to just relax will become more comfortable. Doing this is a form of self-care and self-love.
REDEFINE SELF-CARE
The term ‘self-care’ has been around for some time in mainstream media, but what does this really mean
When I ask about self-care, most people talk about more external ‘doing’ like getting a massage, going on vacation, going to the gym, and time with friends.
Yes, these things are all important aspects of self-care. But, taking time to just be with yourself, sit and be quiet is rarely ever mentioned as self-care. Neither is cultivating self-awareness, getting to know one’s self. How can anyone find lasting calm and peace of mind if they don’t develop a caring relationship with themselves?
In order to have a holistic self-care routine and practice, we need to define self-care. I invite you to take some time to do this. Create your definition of self-care so that you can take actions towards that definition.
For me, I think of ‘self’ as my body, mind, and spirit. To me, care is actions that come from a place of love to support holistic well being. So, self-care means taking loving actions towards holistic well being of body, mind, and spirit.
What is your definition?
YOUR DEFINITION IS YOUR GUIDE
Now, I can use that definition as a guide to make choices toward caring for myself each day. Once you find your definition, you will be able to find actions that are inline with this definition. Experiment with it and see if the definition and actions lead you to a more loving relationship with yourself.
If, over time, that’s not happening, take another look at your definition and actions to see where you might make adjustments.
Do this today so that you can start using the holiday season as a time to practice this definition of self-care. No time like the present! Give a gift to yourself this holiday season. 🎁
Namaste.
PS. Starting to think about how you want to go through the next year in your life? Wanting to get control of your emotional reactions once and for all instead of choosing another low commitment, low investment option giving you little to no change? Those women who want to master ‘out-of-control’ emotional reactions, as well as reconnect with important relationships, get the 3 step process in my free webinar.