When I look around, there’s not much that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. It’s a fine line indeed. One of the character traits that creates that fine line is self-control. What I mean by that is internal awareness, focus, and discernment. These happen to be byproducts of a consistent and regular Yoga practice – a Yoga practice that is focused on refining the mind that is.

SELF-CONTROL IN YOGA

A popular Yoga scripture, the Bhagavad Gita, brings up self-control constantly as essential for understanding one’s True Nature.

• “ The Supreme Self of the self-subjugated and serene-minded, is ever undisturbed in heat and cold, pleasure and pain, as well as in honor and dishonor.” (BG, 6.7)
• “Abandoning attachment and regarding success and failure alike, be steadfast in Yoga and perform thy duties. Even-mindedness is called Yoga.” (BG, 2.48)
• “They who, controlling the senses by the mind, follow without attachment on the path of action, they are esteemed.” (BG, 3.7)

INNER AWARENESS

To me the ‘path’ towards self-control is inner awareness. Why?

First, to be self-controlled, the key word is ‘self.’ Not outside of us but within.

Second, in order to control the self, we have to start noticing what is going on within us. We have to be aware of reactions – combination of thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. There is no way to change something that we aren’t aware of, so you have to become aware of yourself.

Third, our self is the only thing we have control over in this world.

Are you aware of your reactions? I mean do you really know what is going on in your thoughts, emotions and body when it’s reacting?

EXERNAL AWARENESS

Most people don’t. Most people have an external focus and get wrapped up in ‘the other’ when they are reacting. The focus, then, is usually on how to get others to change and be what ‘I want.’ Going back to the third point, it’s futile doing this because we can’t control another person. So, when in this external focused pattern, typically the reaction keeps going. 

All the sudden, days, weeks, maybe even months or years, the reaction keeps happening when the situation is remembered. Know what I’m talking about? Even though the situation is done with, like a hamster running in a hamster wheel, the mind keeps attached to the same external over and over.

The way out?

SELF-CONTROL STARTS WITH…

Turn inward. 

Get curious. Why am I still ‘worked up’ over something that’s happened in the past? What are my thoughts, emotions, and body sensations around this memory? Really take time to watch your reaction and see what happens.

This internal awareness switch allows the reaction to move through the body and mind, rather than getting stuck. It allows the opportunity to understand yourself more, to be able to discern if the reaction is really what’s bothering you or if there’s something else.

Another way inner awareness helps us is creating the change we talk about. Inner awareness helps us move towards an action. One example of this for me has been around finishing paperwork for my work. 

MOVE TOWARDS ACTION

At the end of the day, I’m tired and my mind is great at making up excuses to do it later. Then, the work just carries over the next day, creating more work in the future. I noticed doing this was increasing stress levels in my body and mind. That inner awareness motivated me to counteract my ‘tired’ reaction. My habit is now reminding my ‘tired’ reaction that taking 15 more minutes now allows me to not think about it anymore, enjoy the rest of my evening much more, and start the next day free of the weight of ‘have tos.’ I take action and feel lighter.

If you are desiring to feel more control in your life, real control, try starting with inner awareness.

Namaste.

Want to know the steps and process to become a master of inner awareness? I work with women in the ‘helping professions’ to use self-awareness as part of the formula to move from feeling lost, stuck, or distressed towards confidence and empowerment. You have a gift in supporting and helping others, it’s time to stop letting your own limiting patterns from stepping into this role in a more meaningful way. 

Can you imagine being able to support others without getting lost in other’s suffering? If this is a desire of yours, see if working with me might be a good fit by watching this Free Masterclass.