Shit happens in life. You know, things not going your way, loss, stress, pain. There’s really no way around it, my friends. There is a Yoga principle that guides us in how to deal with challenges. It is Tapas. No, I don’t mean eating small Mediterranean dishes. Tapas is both a practice of Kriya Yoga and Ashtanga Yoga, which are two paths of practice laid out in Patanjali Yoga Sutras (PYS). If you thought Yoga was just about your body, guess again! It’s extremely helpful in helping us not get lost in our own 💩.

TAPAS

Tapas, a Sanskrit word, is translated in several ways – austerities, mortification, self-discipline. I know, you might have a reaction to these words.  Maybe, “Well, that sounds depressing.” To those of us with a background in Judeo-Christian upbringing, these words might bring up dread. But, there is an uplifting side to austerities and self-discipline! And I believe that seeing the joy Tapas can bring to one’s life is the intention of Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras.

You see, the literal definition of Tapas is to heat or to burn. The goal of Yoga, according to PYS is Self-Realization through refining the mind so much there is complete cessation of all thought waves. Basically, a completely calm mind is needed to know the essence of who you truly are. ‘Burning’ would refer to getting rid of anything that is standing in the way of the goal. This includes obvious things like negative thoughts to very subtle things like subconscious reactions we aren’t even aware of – yet.

KRIYA YOGA

For us to ‘burn’ away things within us that aren’t tangible, it takes awareness, discernment, and action. To make this kind of transformation change, it requires understanding lifestyle habits that will lead us to a more calm mind and the commitment/effort to make the change. In other words,  Austerities and Self-Discipline. In Chapter 2 of PYS, there are two options laid out for us that include Tapas. The two options allow us to meet our mind where it’s at.

Kriya Yoga is the very first sutra in Chapter 2, which means it is a powerful way to refine the mind. Kriya is translated as complete action or practice for/toward. So, its meaning is the complete action towards Yoga (Self-Realization). 

Kriya Yoga is a three-fold practice that includes Tapas, Svadhaya (self-study through scriptures) and Isvara Pranidhana (surrender to the Divine or pure consciousness). Needless to say, starting here means that one has enough awareness of self and has already done a lot of personal work. This person is now ready to put effort to go within as their mind is calm and steady enough.

ASHTANGA YOGA

Most of us, frankly, aren’t quite there yet. It’s all good, because we can start with some things that aren’t quite as daunting. It’s for householders, who have roles and obligations in society – working, raising families, caring for others, etc. This is the path of Ashtanga Yoga. Ashta means eight and Anga means limbs. Ashtanga is an eight component path that starts with learning to live life through ethical principles: the 5 Yamas and 5 Niyamas.  

The 5 Yamas are guides in interacting with the world through non-harm, truthfulness, non-stealing, celibacy (meaning moderation), and non-possession. The 5 Niyamas are practices for self-understanding: purity, contentment, self-discipline, self-study through scriptures, and surrender to the Divine/ pure consciousness/ humanity.  Notice that the components of Kriya Yoga are part of the Niyamas. 

These ethical principles are there to guide us towards a more spiritual, loving way to be in the world. This, of course, also helps with calming the mind. These 10 guidelines also outline how to live an austere life. The practice of Tapas is all laid out for us…we just have to put in the effort.

USING TAPAS

Just how can Tapas help us deal with life challenges?

How do you deal with it now? 

If you are like most well-meaning humans I know, you’ve been taught to deal with challenges and tribulations, i.e. pain, in basically one of three ways:

• Get away from it by distraction, escaping, avoiding, or numbing out. (Flight response)
• Fighting it because it will not overpower you! (Fight response)
• Ignoring it…what pain, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Life is grand! Or pulling the covers up over your head. (Freeze response)

Most likely you’ve tried all three in your life. Typically we have our ‘go to’ that is our first line of defense. This is our initial reaction, which happens with little to no thought because it is our habit. I encourage you to take a moment. When you’ve had a hard day at work, when you don’t feel good about yourself…what is your first urge?

This is where Tapas comes in, like a best friend who’s willing to call us out and support us to deal with life effectively.

Like I said in the beginning, it doesn’t need to be all doom and gloom. The practice of Tapas leads us to more joy, peace and contentment. Owning your ‘why’ in the action you take, helps let go of the excuses and “It’s too hard” story. Let’s put some fun into it and make it a game called – “What would Tapas do?”

WHAT WOULD TAPAS DO?

Here are the parameters of Tapas:

• Take responsibility for your part.
• Face the facts of what is happening – not a story or analysis, the facts.
• Be curious and ask questions.
• Life is always trying to help us move towards our True Nature and find a calm mind.
• The universe loves you and is invested in your growth and self-development.
• Accept that pain is part of being alive and gives us the opportunity to change.

Here’s where the fun begins. Below, I’ve got some scenarios and I want you to ask, “Why would Tapas do?” and come up with a way to meet the situation that’s inline with the above parameters. Feel free to email me or post answers (or questions) to the Samya Yoga Healing FB Page. I’d love to see what you come up with! Also, note how you feel during the exercise before, during and after.

SCENARIOS

1. Your parent or partner is having health issues. As part of their support system, you have gone along to some of their doctor’s appointments. You have the list of some lifestyle changes they can make around eating, exercising, and sleeping that might help alleviate some of the symptoms they are having – even reverse what is happening. You feel like a nag because you keep reminding them what to do and they get upset with you. It feels like you’re walking on eggshells around them! You love them and just want them to get better.

2. Your teenage child has just gotten in trouble at school, getting caught smoking a vape pen on school grounds. They’ve recently been hanging out with some new friends who you don’t know. They are thinking about quitting an activity they’ve enjoyed most of their life. On one hand, you know that developmentally, exploration is part of finding identity. On the other hand, you are worried how much time they spend on their phone and computer alone in their room.

3. Things have changed at work. Your work environment has more or less been supportive and you enjoy your co-workers. You have a new supervisor, who used to work on your team, and things feel more stressed now. At home, your partner made the comment that you are so negative about work and is tired of hearing about it. Dread and anxiety have crept in more when Sunday night comes around and you’re preparing for the week.

BEHAVIOR CHANGES

Start by choosing one of the Tapas parameters and let that guide you into brainstorming options for these scenarios. Notice, by doing this, you have to pause and take time to reflect. You have to be curious.

One of the biggest reasons it feels hard to deal with challenges in life is because we are ‘too busy.’ The challenge ends up feeling like one more thing on your plate. Instead, challenges are there because it is a lesson. The lesson is we must slow down in order to meet life and move through the challenges. Constantly moving and doing makes something bigger than it really is.

What are some of the things you have avoided dealing with in your life? How would it feel to stop and deal with it? Notice your reactions when contemplating these questions.

Embrace the challenges through Tapas. The only way is through.

Namaste.

P.S. Does Tapas make sense to you and want to learn how to integrate it now? Ready to move through feeling lost in midlife relationship changes and feel empowered by change? Learn more about what the real issue is keeping women in midlife stuck in the free masterclass – Find Calm Formula™. Get it today.