One definition of myths is that they are widely held false beliefs within a culture. Part of refining and transforming the mind is questioning thoughts and beliefs that are automatic for us. Two common processes in Traditional Yoga that help us do this are viveka (discernment) and vairagya (detachment). I have consistently observed in the minds of Americans (myself included) that I’ve worked with over the past two decades of one belief: “I need more tools!” Because it’s so common, I’m calling it a myth since in most cases, it’s simply not true.

Yes, we need to learn ways to help us transform our thinking. What I find is that most of us learn about a tool or technique, try it for a few days or weeks and then drop it. Even if we’ve found that the tool or technique helps us!  Why is this?

Why Do We Keep Seeking More Tools?

In order to form a new habit, it takes conscious effort and repetition that is consistent over a period of time. This is mentioned in the BG many times: “Doubtless, O mighty-armed, the mind is restless and difficult to control; but, O son of Kunti, through practice and detachment it can be conquered.” (BG, IV.35) It is also mentioned in Patanjali Yoga Sutras: “By the firmly convinced practice…” (PYS I.18); “The time necessary for success further depends on whether the practice is mild, medium, or intense.” (PYS I.22); “Its practice is to be accomplished in stages.” (PYS III.6).

Our minds get bored and distracted. You might have an expectation that after a little bit of practice that you should be perfect in your new skill. These are some of the things that keep us from staying disciplined in sticking with new tools.

Part of the change process includes relapse back into old behavioral habits. Very few of us can start a new habit without relapsing back, unless there’s significant pain and negative consequences involved in the old habit. Even then, that’s not a guarantee. So, change is a process.

Cultural Conditionings Contribute to Myths

When you put a human being into cultural context, this brings up a whole other layer of social conditioning. I mentioned the American culture, which I come from. What are messages that we receive, as Americans, around forming new habits and change? Take a moment to write a few thoughts that come to your mind. (If you aren’t American, what are your culture’s messages around forming new habits and change)?

Some that came to my mind were:

• You should be able to make lasting change in 21 days.
• If you can’t make necessary changes, there’s something wrong with you.
• If I tell you to do something that’s good for you, you should be able to just do it.
• If you have a behavioral relapse, it’s because you’re weak.
• All you gotta do is pull yourself up by your bootstraps!
• I know how you should change your life because I’m the expert.
• Change should be easy.

I could keep going, but when I look at these it feels judgmental, blaming, and shaming. If your underlying message or programming around change is judgmental, blaming, and shaming, how well do you think you’d do in persevering towards change when the process gets tough? And it does get tough.

In addition, change creates uncertainty, feels unsettling, unsure and awkward, and brings up self-doubt. So, if the mind’s conditioning is to judge, blame and shame when these feelings come up, how likely are you to get up and try again?

The Mind is Easily Distracted

So, the mind starts to think, “This tool doesn’t work for me because I’m feeling uncomfortable and I just want to feel good. Wait, what that person is saying sounds better, I’m going to go try that.”

We get on the wheel of trying to find quick fixes, which don’t exist or at least not without self-destructive consequences. We try something for a little bit, then discard it to grasp for the next ‘latest-and-greatest.’ Sound familiar?? If you look at your bookshelf and see a bunch of unread books…or your inbox is filled with half completed courses…or if you have stacks of notes and journals filled with lots of tools and techniques but have never used them…you fall into this pattern.

One common belief in Traditional Yoga is ‘you already have what you need inside.’ When applying this to tools and techniques, I would guarantee that you already have what you need – you just need to start practicing what you already know.

Come Back to the Resources You Already Have

Take a moment to reflect over your life at the different strategies you’ve tried. Which ones were helpful that you stopped using? I would HIGHLY recommend going back to those, choose 1 or 2, then relearn them and commit to start practicing them until they are integrated into your life. Remember, creating change takes effort, repetition, and practice with consistency over a long period of time.

One mental tool I use is japa with a sankalpa (repeating a resolve). I created it with my teacher in 2015. In 2019, I went to my teacher and asked him when I could get a new sankalpa. He asked me, “Is this one 100% true?” I laughed and understood what it meant to practice with consistency over a long time. It was truer but not 100% true.

When your mind starts desiring a “new” tool or technique (and it will), I want you to program yourself to stop, pause and question this desire. This is the practice of viveka (discernment) that I mentioned earlier. In order to stop the impulsive desire for something new, you have to be aware of that desire and then start to discern if it’s an actual need or just a desire that will distract you. There are so many amazing experiences in this life and if you want to find more lasting peace, joy, and contentment, you’re going to have to start detaching (vairagya) from the desire to experience it all. It’s not possible and it keeps you from focusing on yourself so you can heal and grow.

Use Your Mind to Discern and Detach

In the past, I was in a pattern of buying things when I was feeling down. It was a pleasurable distraction to look at new, colorful things. For a moment, it would be fun to wear or use these new things. Then, quickly, the novelty wore off and I’d feel down again. When I begun to deepen my Yoga practice, I started to see this pattern. 

When I’d feel down and notice the desire to shop, I’d take a deep breath. Then I ask myself if that is actually going to make me feel better. I imagine myself buying something and let the story play out. It frequently leads me back to feeling exactly how I was before buying the item. This allows me to explore what I really need in that moment, which helps to lift me up in a more lasting, empowering way. Discerning what was happening and what I really needed (viveka), I was able to detach (vairagya) from shopping and find my way to more lasting contentment.

Namaste.