What would life be like if you believed there were no ‘wrong turns’?
LIFE IS GUIDING YOU
When I was in my late 20s, I decided to go back to school for a Masters in Social Work. Ever since I was a young girl, I just felt called to work with people. I started out in college with a grand plan of getting a degree in International Affairs, becoming fluent in French, and working in the EU. After one semester, I realized the competitive nature of International Affairs was not for me…but I loved my Developmental Psychology class. Yep – couldn’t escape it.
Even after finishing college, realizing I couldn’t do much with a BA in Psychology, and wondering what I was going to do with my life as I worked at a ticket office for a ballet company.. A year later, as a ski bum, waitressing and working at the mountain, the pull to make more of a difference in the world got the best of me. I was inspired after volunteering at a domestic violence shelter in Jackson, WY and decided the next step was going back to school.
WRONG TURN OR SCENIC DETOUR
The winter before I started graduate school, I was back at home in Anchorage, Alaska, trying to save up some money. I could only afford a 1978 Dodge van that was to be my vehicle from Anchorage to Fort Collins. I invited a friend to join me on the journey and make a climbing trip out of it. It was an adventure on many levels. Shakti had a number of mechanical issues and the small town mechanics along our route helped to keep her rolling down the road.
I don’t think my friend realized quite what he had signed up for.
Photo by Maximilian Ruther on Pexels
The most comical moment, to me, was a wrong turn. If you’ve ever driven the ALCAN highway from Alaska through the Yukon and British Colombia, you’ll know it’s a long drive through the wilderness. And there’s pretty much one road the whole way down. Maybe only a handful of places you have to make a turn or change onto a different highway.
Well, at one of those few and far between choices, we took a right. When we should have veered left. After driving about an hour, something just didn’t feel right to me. The direction just felt wrong. Now this was before the era of the smart phone, so I got out my map and took a look. Yep, we went the wrong direction. I just started laughing and laughing. The ridiculousness of the situation just overcame me.
My friend didn’t share the humor and was upset. We were two hours out of our way. I know he was really looking forward to getting to Squamish and rock climbing. But, it was good information to me. He saw it as a ‘wrong turn’ and it simply was not ‘okay’ for him. I called it a ‘scenic detour’ in my mind.
CREATING CHOICE OPENS UP POSSIBILITY
How we perceive a situation creates the situation.
And there are MANY ways to perceive a situation.
But that’s the wonderful thing. If you can accept this – how we perceive a situation creates the situation – it opens up the opportunity for choice.
The opportunity for choice can happen if:
- You take responsibility for your reactions.
- Get curious about your reactions.
- Explore other possible reactions to the situation.
Now there are choices where before it may have felt like there were none.
When we have choices, this is the opposite to feeling stuck and trapped, which happens when we think there are no choices.
There are always choices.
There are not always choices in what needs to happen. In my scenic detour, to get to Squamish, we needed to turn around, go back an hour and continue forward.
The choice that’s always there, no matter what, is how you choose to go through a situation. Both my friend and I made very different choices in how to perceive the situation. And so we both had different reactions/responses to it.
Every situation is an opportunity to practice exploring your choices.
Because, let’s face it, it’s hard to turn a reaction into a response that meets what is happening in the moment. That’s why it takes practice to find choices.
Which is why I believe there are no wrong turns…just some scenic detours.
Shanti.
P.S. Interested in turning reactions into response by opening up to choice in every situation? That’s one of the things I do as a Mind Coach for women over 40. Schedule a free Connection Call at any time to explore where you’re at, what support you are looking for, and if I might be a good fit.