Eleven years ago, I woke up with diminished hearing and ringing in my right ear. And it didn’t get better. Since I listen for a living, I was scared. What was going to happen? Was it going to get worse? It sent me on a journey of ruling things out, trying medications, feeling unheard and frustrated, doing my own research and advocating for myself. Diagnosed with both Meniere’s Disease and Vestibular Migraine, management of symptoms has become part of my life. This journey has also solidified my commitment to Yoga as a lifestyle. It’s been a process of acceptance and clarifying the truth about living in a human body.
THE PAIN OF BEING HUMAN
Pain, grief and loss, and suffering are part of being human. We have been taught to fight against this through distraction, avoidance, blame, and judgement.
Seven years after that first morning, I was driving to Pagosa Springs with my husband for a spring break getaway when the world started spinning. I had to pull over carefully and stop driving. Three weeks of vertigo and dizziness ensued.
Even though it was challenging, unnerving, and overwhelming at times, I learned a lot about my body and mind. I focused on calming my breath, focusing on being kind and loving towards myself, and letting go of how I thought things ‘should go.’ This alone significantly decreased the dizziness. It seemed like my body was trying to fight against itself! When using tools to calm my nervous system, it signaled the reaction to calm too. This helped until I found changes in my diet and some supplements, which, along with my inward Yoga practice, has kept me vertigo free for 4 years now.
I realized that my beliefs around what-medical-systems-should-do were keeping me stuck in frustration and feeling powerless. In a fairytale world, doctors would know everything and be able to fix any challenges of the body. But we don’t live in Never-Neverland. Doctors are humans just like me and you. They have their limitations. Medical systems are built by humans, so also have limitations.
ACCEPTANCE
Once I accepted this, I was able to focus on what was in my control and power, instead of staying stuck and feeling powerless. When I usually feel this way – stuck and powerless – many times it’s because I am giving up my power through blame, anger, and expectations. If I focus on what is in my control, it diminishes thinking others know more about my experience and increases trust in myself.
When I was being prescribed Prednisone for a 3rd time, despite it not helping and actually making things worse, I took back my power and said, “No.” I’m not taking it. I was fortunate when finally the doctor admitted, “I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how to help you” and encouraged me to seek out other help. That honesty helped me to trust myself more. And since then, I’ve found professionals who are willing to listen to me and treat me as a partner in maintaining body health.
TRUTH ABOUT THE BODY
I know I’m not alone in this experience with the US medical system. I have worked with many women who have had similar experiences…and much more traumatic experiences. The facts are, the US medical system is in the business of treating symptoms, keeping people alive no matter what, and their main tools are medications. It’s not good or bad…it’s just what is.
The other fact is – the body we’ve been given to travel through this life WILL get sick, degrade, and die. This isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s nature.
In a culture that values youth, beauty, and productivity, the limitations of the body are seen as negative. This is a narrow view that discounts half our life. The more we judge and fight what happens naturally, the more we are in a state of war with ourselves.
Staying in blame and anger only creates more suffering for us and for the world. We can’t change the situation. But we do have the choice to stay in blame and anger or put energy towards moving through it. Both are hard but only one offers the opportunity for freedom.
TRUTH ABOUT EMOTIONS
As a trained mental health professional in this paradigm, I struggled often with the limitations of the belief that challenging emotions, struggles with pain, and not fitting in a box of ‘normal’ are viewed as a disease that needed to be fixed. When I became a Yoga teacher, I was offered a different view that moved past the limitations of seeing parts of myself as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’
This revolutionized how I showed up to hold space for women and how I work with women. I have seen women go from being stuck for years in doubt, loathing, and blame shift into clarity, compassion, and understanding. This has allowed them to take responsibility and action towards a life filled with heartfelt connection, joy, and contentment.
It’s not something that happens in one month. Rather, it’s like watching a seed germinate, sprout, grow, bud, and bloom. Becoming ‘Who I am’ isn’t a class, a challenge, or a technique – it’s a transformation process that comes through practice.
YOGA, ACCEPTANCE, AND TRUTH
Here are 5 principles of Yoga that have helped me and women I work with, accept the reality of the present and take back power of choice and action:
- There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ There are just life experiences that give us the opportunity to explore and understand more the truth of ‘Who I Am.’
- Your body-mind complex is a gift you’ve been given to journey through life. It will get sick, age, decay, and die. All I can do is treat it with love and respect. I don’t know its expiration date and I am grateful for all it has allowed me to experience.
- I can not control outcomes. That includes how others behave, what unfolds in the future, and what comes next. I CAN control and have a choice in how I show up and the attitude I use to facing experiences in life. When I focus on what I control and let go of what I can’t, I am more calm, clear, and steady in my mind.
- The breath is my most powerful tool to calm my mind. The more I get to know it, understand it, and use it every day, the more it is a resource in challenging times.
- Every being is divine. Every human being is trying to end suffering. We are the same. Any differences are just part of what we’ve each been given to experience this world. My definition of the Divine is love and this is what I work to cultivate within me every day. What is your definition of the Divine?
REFLECT…
Since you are a human being reading this…
I know that you have experienced pain, loss, and suffering in your life.
What would happen to your pain, suffering, and loss if you chose one of these principles to integrate into your life?
Shanti.
P.S. These 5 principles are an integral part of my 3-month program for women stuck in anxious reactions who are ready to let go, find their voice, and move through conflict confidently. If this resonates with you, let’s connect. Schedule a Connection Call at anytime here.