We all have pressures and stress in our lives that effect our emotions. I know that over this past year, for a lot of us, life’s challenges have felt even more overwhelming at times. Not easy. All you have to do is Google “managing stress during COVID-19” and almost 650,000,000 results come up! With many ’go tos’ for managing stressful emotions not available this past year, it’s called on our creativity to think outside the box and try new things  Yet, even with all the online resources, we still struggle to manage our emotions and reactions to an ever changing world. Ever stop to ask why? What is the real, underlying cause of stress and challenging emotions?

I know for a lot of my life, I just kept trying to figure out how to manage anxiety better. I definitely tried some more self-destructive ways when I was younger, which didn’t work and only made me feel worse. Exercise, getting out in nature, and being around wonderful friends have been more of the consistent healthy ways I have used to ease anxiety. But it wasn’t until I started to practice yoga in its more traditional form, as a path to self-realization, that I started to have more significant and lasting change.

YOGA’S PERSPECTIVE

So, what’s Yoga’s view on the root of human suffering?

First, I want to just talk a little bit about what I’m talking about when I say “Yoga.” I’m not talking about going to a class a couple times a week to practice asana (yoga poses). Yes, this is a part of one path of Yoga called Hatha Yoga, but the poses are just a small part of it. Hatha Yoga is just one of many paths or lineages of Yoga. There’s Raja Yoga that Patanjali Yoga Sutras addresses and it’s Yoga for the mind. Also, Bhakti Yoga, which is the path of devotion. And Karma Yoga, the path of action, and Jnana Yoga, the path of Wisdom.  Yoga is a lot bigger than just the poses and breathing practices that define the more modern thought of Yoga.

What each of these paths have in common, though, are two things. The cause of suffering and the end goal to fully end all suffering. The end goal is Moksha or Self-realization and this is the end point for most spiritual paths in the world. It’s all about connecting to our True Nature or the Source.

THE CAUSE OF SUFFERING 

The cause of suffering is ignorance of who we really are, which resides in our minds. Yup, our minds are the cause of our suffering. A basic way of looking at this is the difference between “Who I think I am” and “Who I am.” Here’s an example:

• Who I Think I Am: I am a mother. Here are some common beliefs for this role. ‘Mother’s are supposed to be kind and loving, support their kids with a smile, and be grateful for what they have.’ ‘A “good” mother has children that are well-adjusted, do well in school, and are happy.’
• Who I am (relative reality, the facts): I’m a mother and this is what’s going on in my life. My youngest daughter is struggling in school and getting into trouble. My son has been so unhappy lately and I’m worried about him. I don’t know what to do to help them.

Why does the suffering happen in this example?

“Who I Am” versus “Who I Think I Am”

The suffering happens because of “Who I think I Am” for this mother is not aligned with “Who I am,” the reality of what is actually happening. It’s the expectations of how things “should be.” If expectations aren’t aligned with what is happening, thoughts like “I’m doing something wrong as a mother” come up. Yes, I know worrying about the outcome of a child comes very natural with the role of mother. Yet, what does that worrying end up doing? It creates fear and stories about the future. Trying to prevent those future stories, which is out of the mother’s control, ends up feeling more overwhelmed, responsible and fearful. Right?

ANOTHER WAY

What if it didn’t have to feel that way? Can you imagine if you were able to be aware of the worry reaction, set it aside and come to the facts, dealing with what is in the present moment? And what if it was okay that you don’t have all the answers?

What would you do if you knew that your worry wasn’t only negatively affecting you? But also influencing your child’s thoughts about themselves. Unknowingly leading them away from knowing who they truly are. Instead teaching them they have to fit themselves into ‘who they think they should be’ to feel ‘good enough’.

That’s the thing, all of our “Who I think I Am” patterns of expectations, ‘shoulds,’ obligations, self-doubt, self-judgement have led us astray from ourselves. Then this is what we, in turn, teach our children. It’s what we also expect of others.

Think about it. What would you do if you didn’t have to worry about money and your family? What is your heart’s longing that you have pushed aside to accommodate the rest of the world?

That’s the thing. Life is ALWAYS going to have challenges and stressors. There’s always going to be cultural pressures to be and act a certain way. So, when do you start to sift through all of the “Who I Think I Ams” and figure out “Who I am?” 

JOIN ME!

Join me on March 26th for a Facebook Live at 6pm to learn the ‘Top 3 Tools to Manage Emotional Reactions’ from a Yoga perspective so that you can more effectively face life challenges, relieve stress and worry, and focus on your priorities.

It’s free! If you aren’t a part of Samya Yoga Healing’s Private Facebook Group, Click Here, to get the link.

It’s time to learn a different way to view our suffering and tools to create lasting empowerment. Don’t tolerate continuing to feel stuck and helpless. 

Namaste.