On a walk with a friend recently, she shared that she was struggling with procrastination in her coursework. I asked what was causing the procrastination and she stated, “When I get going, then I can’t stop until it’s perfect.” Her desire to do it perfectly or not at all was paralyzing her from taking any action. On top of it, she judged herself harshly for being paralyzed. 

She’s not alone…our minds do this all the time! When we come from a place of fear, our actions inevitably revert to avoid, escape or fight through the situation. This is our fear response. Perfectionism and procrastination are behavior patterns of this fear response.

WISDOM OF DOING THINGS POORLY

While listening to an audio lesson from a course I’m taking, Marshall Rosenberg stated, “‘Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly.” My mind did a double take when I heard this. I re-listened to what he said just to make sure I had heard him correctly.

Yep. He just said, “Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly.”

As those words sunk in, I started laughing. What a wonderful reminder for the perfectionist mindset! If something is worth doing, it matters more that we take action and do it, rather than not doing it at all. Yes, there might be some pain in the messiness of trying, but that’s how we learn. Not doing something out of fear instead of a conscious choice, ends up being more harmful in two ways:

1. We miss an opportunity to learn from the experience. Going outside our comfort zone into discomfort is where valuable learning happens. Choosing to not do something you feel is ‘worth it,’ keeps you right where we are. If you’re feeling stuck – what are you avoiding out of fear of not doing it ‘right’?

2. If it feels ‘worth doing’ – I mean your whole being is saying ‘yes’ – there might be a higher purpose for doing it. Worrying about doing it ‘right’ instead of doing it keeps the world from benefiting from your actions. I had a lesson in this in the form of the thought ‘I can’t’.

REFLECT ON ‘I CAN’T’

I was in Canada with my teacher. For a second time, he invited me to the next level of Yoga Teacher Training he was offering the following year. Just like the first time he invited me a year prior, I responded, “I would love to…but I can’t take that much time off work.”  

Later, on the plane ride back to Colorado, a voice said, ‘Who is saying you can’t?’ I sat with that question for a bit and the answer was…me. At that moment, I was the one saying I couldn’t go. So, I decided to see if my future prediction of work, cost, and my partner were going to say ‘No’ to the test. Lo and behold when I explored these three areas, each gave me the green light and I went. From that training, Samya Yoga Healing was born.

If I had gone with my mind’s reaction of ‘I can’t’, you wouldn’t be reading this blog post. That training shaped me personally as well as professionally. It served me and it is serving the world by my work. We can never know the outcomes unless we take action.

YOGA ENCOURAGES ACTION, EVEN DONE POORLY

This reminds me of a verse in the Bhagavad Gita:

“Better one’s own duty, though devoid of merit, than the duty of another, well performed. Better is death, in following one’s own duty; the duty of another is full of danger.” (BG 3.35, Swami Paramananda translation)

We are given a multitude of messages throughout our life about who we are and what we should be doing. It can be challenging to discern what is our purpose or duty and what is not. Especially because we have been conditioned since a young age to do what others want us to do through ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ messages.

But, I believe that the universe is always supporting us to live our purpose no matter what. It wants us to Self-realize.

Biologically, there are ‘built in’ transitions in our brain development to rebel against others as we try to find our identity. When we are about 2-3 years old and learn the power of choice by learning the word ‘No!’ Later, when we become teenagers and have the natural desire to have a separate identity from our parents. To question ‘Who am I’ is a natural part of being human, especially once our basic needs are met.

POWERFUL CONDITIONGS TO UNLEARN

For societies to thrive, conformity and social norms are used to condition and control the masses. We are taught to give up much of our power to discern for ourselves unknowingly. Ideas of ‘success’ are taught to us that support society and those in power. To accumulate material wealth, following one’s own duty may be in direct contradiction to what is valued as  ‘best’ for society and family. I often say that to be a good consumer, a person has to believe there’s something wrong with themselves. If you know you are enough, you simply don’t need as much.

Why would the Bhagavad Gita distinguish between duty of one’s own versus another? Isn’t that being selfish? That’s what we’ve been taught – especially as women. 

The duty that is being talked about here is more expansive and has more depth. It’s not talking about duty for financial gain. Financial gain may be a product of following one’s purpose or duty but there’s no guarantee.

REFLECTIONS TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PURPOSE

Some questions to explore to identify your innate, natural purpose in this world:

• What have been your natural tendencies since birth? 
• What behavior do you seem drawn to doing no matter what is happening? This can inform your duty or purpose in life.
• Even if you must do work for money, how can that essence be allowed to guide you? Whatever role you are in, your purpose or duty can still shine through.

Many of us have been told to disconnect from that part of ourselves. That it has to be ‘either/or.’

In reality, our dharma is a part of who we are rather than just an activity. We are not only shut off from that gift of purpose with disconnection to ourselves, but are even led to believe that we are innately ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. We take that as our truth. It’s very hard to connect with your purpose if you believe that you aren’t a worthy person to begin with. 

This disconnection is dangerous. We end up numbing out so that we can go through life living what others tell us. It is dangerous because we are not fully and wholly alive. In this space, fear is our guide and we are easily manipulated by others. This disconnection is a form of isolation and we become lost to purpose.

TRUTH OF IDENTITY CRISIS

This is why identity crises are so prevalent and are also important opportunities to ‘wake up’ to the truth and start to make conscious choices. The roles and identities we define ourselves by will all inevitably end. And when they do, there is a crisis of identity – if I’m not this role, then who am I? The disconnect stares us in the face. (Like I mentioned earlier, the universe is always supporting us to Self-realize). 

Do you choose to keep living other people’s duties or thoughts about who you should be? Do you listen to the ‘What Ifs’ about turning towards what our heart is screaming for but you are terrified to ‘get it wrong?’ 

What do you choose?

And to ease that easily provoked perfectionist mind – relax! If we don’t ‘get it’ now, we will have plenty of other opportunities until we do. 

My encouragement is to take explorative actions when fear tells you all the reasons not to do something. Take action and see if it’s right or not. The outcome will just be more information for the next choice to make.

Shanti.

P.S. Making deep changes in our mindset is hard to do alone. If you are looking for support in creating a mindset that lifts you up, motivates you, and helps you to move forward in 2026, let’s chat! Schedule a Connection Call with me at any time to see if working together is a good fit or not.