There’s so much information out there at our fingertips 24 hours a day, yet it’s created more confusion than ever. It’s hard to know what information is fact-based, what is opinion, what’s been ‘spun’ for specific interests. 

Leading busy lives doesn’t leave a lot of time to fact check all of it, so it’s easy to just say, ‘screw it,’ and just make choices based on what’s easiest in a given moment. I know when I do that, inevitably I start to feel uneasy about the incongruence between my values and choices. This starts the search for answers again, which can lead back to that confused state.

REDUCE CONFUSION THROUGH YOGA

Interestingly, how to sort through information and knowledge is addressed in Patanjali Yoga Sutras. A confused mind state isn’t anything new, just the amount of information available is. If you want some pointers in making decisions to find a more calm mind state then read on!

Patanjali Yoga Sutras is a Yoga text that focuses on mind management. One of the first things we need to know is what information and knowledge is out there. Patanjali knows this so addresses this right off in sutra 1.5-17. Knowing this can help us discern what type of information we want to give more weight and energy to and what to let go of.

To reach a steady, calm mind that’s ready to discover our True Self, a practice of discernment and detachment are the techniques given to us in the Yoga Sutras. Discernment takes awareness, curiosity, and understanding of what obstacles are keeping the mind distracted.  When you examine a situation and see it for what it truly is, the process of detachment (letting go) happens naturally.

Just like when going to sleep, sleep happens. We don’t ‘do’ sleep. The ‘doing’ comes from bedtime routines to prepare the body and mind for sleep. We can’t force detachment. If we do, then it turns into escaping, avoiding, or bypassing.

TRYING TO ‘FEEL BETTER’

One of the things I used to do to feel ‘better’ was shop. I justified it because I would look for ‘good deals’ so I would be crazy not to purchase items. Once I examined this behavior and saw that it was to feel good, not because I truly needed an item, I could question it. I asked myself, “Twyla, is buying this going to solve how you’re feeling?” The answer was typically, “No.”  Over time, ‘therapy shopping’ was no longer pleasurable because I saw how it created more stress from frivolously spent money. The behavior has almost altogether stopped.

YOGA SUTRAS

In Patanjali Yoga Sutra 1.5, it states, “There are five kinds of mental modifications which are either painful or painless.”  There are some types of thinking that bring us pain and there are some ways of thinking that don’t cause pain. Notice it doesn’t say “good” or “bad.” There’s not a ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ It’s telling us that pain and suffering we are experiencing in life just might be due to the thoughts we are focusing on and listening to more.

In Sutra writing, every word is carefully chosen so this is not a mistake. Even thoughts that start off with good intentions can end up inflicting pain.

The next Sutra, 1.6, names the five kinds of vrritis or mental processes to be aware of that influence the mind: right knowledge, misconception, verbal delusion, sleep and memory. The next five Sutras, he elaborates on each.  

RIGHT KNOWLEDGE

We will just look at the first – pramana or right knowledge – of which there are three. Since it is first, in the Sutra form that means it is important. Right knowledge is most reliable and things get exponentially less so as you go down the list. Since we don’t know the absolute truth, we must use relative reality to do our best and find relative truth.

The three pramanas have to do with our own direct experiences (direct perception), knowing facts from prior experiences to make sense of what is happening now (inference), and studying time-tested knowledge (scriptural study).  This is on reason Yoga resonates so much with me. It not only encourages but tells us that our personal experience matters. We must take in information and then go explore it through life experiences to come to our own conclusion. 

This is opposite of what most of us have been taught, as well as what we are ‘programmed’ to do at a basic level. Human beings are social animals so we want to belong and feel loved. Early on, we are taught to care about other people’s emotions, be nice, and not cause hurt. This is for a very good reason – to create a functioning society.

BRAND LOYALTY

The issue comes when we take on other people’s reactions and emotions as our own, something ‘I’ am responsible for. Then we end up thinking other people are responsible for how we feel. It gets confusing. Who’s feelings are whose and who is responsible for what.

All this confusion makes it hard to trust ourselves and our experiences. But that is exactly what we need to learn to do.

We need to find trusted sources of information and then explore them on our own to find our own clarity.

We do this with products we buy. Finding a product you like feels wonderful because there’s more certainty and control.  We form brand loyalty based on our experiences. But if we don’t have experience, we rely on suggestions from those who do have experience. Then we try something out based on that trust and start to have direct experience of our own.

I remember back in college I was in the market for my first backpack and had read about Dana Design backpacks that were highly rated. I decided to get one of their packs so I was fitted by a salesperson who had been trained to fit these packs (I assumed) at a store with a good reputation. The next two years I spent doubting my experience because I had been helped by ‘experts’ in my mind.

No matter what I did to adjust the pack, it never fit right. Finally, on a road trip up to Alaska, I decided to stop at a different outdoors store and get refitted. I found out what I had already known…the pack was too big. Lucky for me, Dana Designs stood by their product and replaced the pack for free.

USING EXPERIENCE TO LEARN

But we do this all the time, right? When our direct experience doesn’t line up with an ‘expert,’ self-doubt ensues and we don’t use or trust our direct experience. 

As I started to see this pattern in myself, discounting my direct experience, and then later feeling upset, I realized I was causing my suffering. By not honoring my right knowledge of direct experience, I did not take in all the information at my disposal to make a well-informed decision.

It’s not to say that our direct experience is always right because it’s not. But, when we use it along with all other knowledge we have and trust, it usually leads us to action that is a far better fit and makes more sense for us.

When trying to sift through all the external information, don’t forget about your own experiences. In order to be aware of your direct experience, you need to take time to slow down, pause, and listen to it.

TRUST YOURSELF TO REDUCE CONFUSION

I am updating my website (can’t wait to share it with you when it becomes live). Everything was sitting well with me except for the banner. I had my web designer change things 4 or 5 times, which is not what I typically do. I paid attention to my direct experience. My body felt disappointed with it but I couldn’t pinpoint why. 

My mind, after two changes, started to get nervous that my web designer was going to get upset with my indecision. Instead of letting this story keep me from getting a banner I was excited about, I reminded myself that this was my website, my business, and I made the final call.

Listening to my direct experience helped to sift through the limiting thinking and find a course of action that was best for my situation, honoring my inner wisdom.

Accept that you will come up against difficult situations, people, and decisions. Instead of trying to escape the reaction to find the shortest way to ‘feel better’ in the moment, practice using your direct experience.

Seek to understand the uncomfortable reaction. It is the guide that will lead you to right knowledge, right action, and in the end, cultivate a calm mind.

Namaste.

P.S. If you want to learn more about what keeps women stuck in limiting patterns, especially with relationship strife, watch my free masterclass – The Find Calm Formula™. Notice what your direct experience is and take action that is best for you.