I’ve been repacking my bags for my move to South Korea to reduce weight. It’s provided me the opportunity to practice discernment (viveka) and letting go (vairagya).  My Yoga practice has strengthened my ability to be able to watch my reactions, question them, and come back to the facts to find a different perspective. It’s been a reminder that my life is my responsibility and this gives me more choice and control in my life. Your life, your choice.

THE MIND’S ATTACHMENT

The past few weeks, Greg and I have been on a road trip in the Midwest and East Coast seeing family. We lived out of the few bags we brought. It felt more simple and freeing. Have you felt this before when traveling? 

It puts into perspective what is actually necessary for living.

Returning back to Colorado, we’ve been going through what we put aside to take with us to South Korea, sorting through and letting go of more.  After just three weeks, it was interesting to see what I had already forgotten about. As I was looking through it all, I watched my mind start to go into its story of needing all those clothes, those books…

Weighing one bag, it kept coming up overweight. I watched my mind negotiate. 

I woke up early the next day and my mind had let go of some of the stories. It was clear what needed to stay and not come with me. It was a matter of realizing that I would be safe, secure, and capable, without the items I was clinging to.  The part of my mind that likes to be ‘ready-for-anything’, armed with the material items I believed I need to be self-sufficient, had calmed down. It was able to see a bigger picture.

HABITS AND PATTERNS

This part of my mind has had a lot of practice working to find security. I remember the first time my younger brother and I had flown by ourselves when I was in fourth grade. I spent the two weeks prior asking my parents as many questions I could think of to be prepared for any situation that might arise. Trying to be ready for anything that could happen was my security. I was looking for certainty.

Through my daily sadhana (spiritual practice of Yoga) over the years, I have worked on unlearning this pattern. I am by no means free of this pattern but I’m able to easily recognize when the identity of ‘Have-to-be-in-control’ comes up. Then I work with her to choose a different mindset. By coming back to myself and the facts, I find more control than holding onto the stories.

YOUR LIFE, YOUR CHOICE

This is where control really lies.  It’s not about controlling the external world. That is always changing and has an infinite number of possibilities. The mind can drive itself crazy trying to find control in that chaos, like trying to hold tight to a wet bar of soap. 

Turning inward and getting to know our minds and understand it’s a tool for us to use, that’s empowering. This is where we find choices that are based in reality and with what we can control. That is where we can make clear, conscious choices. Patterns and conditionings of believing that the story is ‘Truth’ limits our ability to change.

Remember, this is your life to live. It’s your choice how you want to live it and this starts with changing your attitude and perception.

How do you want to live the rest of your life?

What is keeping you from doing this right now?

What is one thing you are willing to change to start moving towards that life?

Use these questions to start to step into the viveka and vairagya (discernment and detachment).

Namaste.

 

P.S. If one thing you are willing to change is moving out of fear and fear reactions as you face midlife relationship changes, I might be able to help. From my personal experiences and working with women over the past decade, I’ve found a simple 3-step process to move from reacting to consciously responding – “The Find Calm Formula™.” Watch the free masterclass to learn more.