I offer free Clarity Calls to women who have come to a crossroad in their life, feel stuck in emotional reaction, and are ready to find a new way forward. On these calls, we look at where they are, what they want to go and what obstacles are keeping them from moving forward.  The women who come to the call knowing what they want and accept that they need help are typically the ones who are ready to work with me. Acceptance allows forward movement.

TURN INWARD AND TAKE ACTION

It doesn’t mean that they stay in this place of clarity, in fact confusion and doubt are typically a part of the process. For some reason, in a moment of acceptance and clarity they think of me and reach out instead of listening to all the excuses why they shouldn’t ask for help. 

What changed for them was listening to that deeper, encouraging voice that comes more from the heart rather than the head. The heart has a way of accepting things much more easily than the head. Most of us are in the habit of believing that our mind knows best.  In fact, it’s not that the heart or mind is better. What works best is when they can work together.

DEFINITION OF ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance is the ability to see the bigger picture, looking at the facts (instead of being lost in the story), and taking action from that place of clarity. It’s like hiking through fog, unsure if you’re going the right direction. And then suddenly the fog parts and you see a clear view of where you are and the direction you are going.

In that moment of seeing clearly, it’s possible to decide what course of action you want to take from there. Stay on that path or choose another, depending on the goal you are headed towards.

Before the cloud of self-doubt and the old story of self-judgment engulfs you again, taking action from clarity moves things in a different direction. Asking and accepting help is one of the hardest action steps to take for most women. We tend to get stuck in debating what is the ‘right’ course of action and don’t end up doing anything – staying where we are at and doing the same things we’ve already tried.

OBSTACLES TO ACCEPTANCE

As women, many of us are good at seeing the bigger picture for others and offering a hand through the fog. But, when it comes to ourselves, there’s a lot of shame around being in the fog of our own doubt and judgment. Maybe you’ve been living the same story for years and feeling like “I should be doing it differently.”

It’s okay that you are feeling this. It’s normal and you aren’t alone.

And, you don’t have to stay in this pattern. It is possible to move beyond it.

Part of acceptance is honesty. Real honesty, not based on how you feel but based on the facts of the situation. Get honest with yourself through curiosity:

• What is the story that keeps you from asking for and/or accepting help?
• How old is this story?
• Is this the story you want to continue listening to?
• If not, what needs to change in your story for you to start letting go of that old story?

Getting curious helps move into acceptance. Accepting that it is your responsibility to take actions and do some of the hard things to move forward.

CHANGE DOESN’T EQUAL ‘FEEL GOOD’

The other common obstacle is the belief that ‘right’ change should be easy and feel good. 

If that were true, we’d all be living our best lives, true to ourselves…but we aren’t.

The reality is that change is challenging and there will be pain involved as we let go. Letting go or vairagya is necessary to move forward. If you’re in the raft and you want to move downstream, that can’t happen if you are holding onto rock to keep yourself from moving downstream. You can’t stay where you’re at and move forward – impossible.

The space that is created once ‘letting go’ happens can feel scary at first. That’s normal because it’s a space of uncertainty. Uncertainty is not bad, it’s part of doing something new. The more you practice being in the new space, the easier it gets. 

 And don’t be fooled into thinking that life will become an easy street after change happens.  Life  will continue to happen, which means ups and downs will continue to happen. The difference is how you meet that change. 

Will you fight it, avoid it, or flow with it? When we practice flowing with it, things tend to go more smoothly in the long run. Not how we want it to go but things will work themselves out. Just watch water moving down stream. It finds its way around the obstacles. It does what it needs to in order to keep flowing. 

Can you imagine what would happen if water molecules started to think about how they were going to get around a rock instead of letting it happen?! Ha! Complete chaos.

ACCEPT YOUR REACTION

All of us have a nervous system that has evolved from a simple formula – when there’s pain, either freeze, flight, or fight because it might be life or death.  This emergency response, survival mode is a part of us. So it’s common that our initial response is a code orange or red when the going gets tough. Accept that. It’s not good or bad, it’s just part of the body we’ve been given.

From acceptance, you can work with your nervous system. It no longer has to control you. You can help it learn when its emergency response system is needed and when it isn’t.  There is a choice to take action with the initial reaction or respond differently after discerning there isn’t a life or death situation happening. This allows you to gain control and confidently move through change more smoothly.

We can continue to fight and avoid pain and stay where we are at.

Or, we can accept the reality of our nature and learn how to move through pain.

What do you want to do?

Namaste.

P.S. Are you a woman who is stuck in the rollercoaster of emotions and you know you are done doing life this way, and ready to do what it takes to get off the rollercoaster? I may be able to help. The first step is to watch the Find Calm Formula™ Masterclass. If it resonates and you want to learn more, book a Clarity Call with me. Let’s get you where you want to be together!