This weekend, I was enjoying backpacking and hiking in the mountains near where I live and as usual, I received another lesson from nature. We camped at a lower lake and then had planned a couple day hikes up the valley towards a series of other lakes. After setting up our tent and getting settled, we set off with less weight, excited to explore this ‘new-to-us’ area. About ten minutes into the hike, we came out of the trees, into an open meadow and were shocked by what we saw. Last year, Colorado had the most intense avalanche cycle on record, with a record number of avalanches in one week. This area had not been spared.
We stared in awe at the massive piles of trees all across this part of the valley. There was a beautiful waterfall ahead of us that 
continued its course through the wreckage. (We later learned that previously the trail took you right by the waterfall. There was no way that was going to happen now). Since we had the afternoon, we decided to see if we could pick our way through to the other side. The next lake was about a mile from our campsite and took us an hour and a half to get there, when normally it would have taken about 30 minutes.
When we got to the next lake, we laid out on the rocks and just rested. Continuing up the valley meant crossing another avalanche debris area. I wasn’t too sure that we’d be making it to the last lake up the valley the next day.
On the way back to our campsite, we were able to find a trail that others before us had roughly made through the debris. We added cairns along the way and it went much faster. We were surprised how quickly we made it through.
On this descent, I reflected how this experience was so much like life.
THE BEST LAID PLANS ARE MEANT TO CHANGE
We make plans and then the time comes to execute those plans, we have no idea what the journey will be like. Our minds will imagine the journey, create a story about it, even though it hasn’t even happened. Inevitably, there will be differences in what we imagine the journey to be like and what actually happens. When we are attached to those stories and it doesn’t unfold as we planned, this is where challenges become struggles and suffering.
I spent the first three and a half decades of my life being attached to planning, trying to ‘make’ things happen perfectly and when things didn’t go as planned, being swept up in so many emotions that at times made it difficult to move forward on the different course. I also tried being detached (i.e. ignoring how I felt) to everything to make things less painful – moving constantly, not committing to relationships, changing jobs constantly. I got to experience a lot of things, meet a lot of people, and enjoyed many adventures, yes. The thing is, I didn’t feel connected. My connection was to planning and always being in the future, never right where I was at.
Coming upon this avalanche debris field, I realized how much I had grown and over come the past 15 years. Instead of either giving up or feeling the need to force my way through, my attitude was completely different. It was an attitude of, “Well, this is 
interesting. I’ve got time, so let’s just see what happens with this.” Off we went, no rush, just seeing what the experience would be. Getting to that next lake, seeing the next avalanche debris pile, and recognizing I was tired helped me reflect that I was perfectly content to just enjoy where I was at – the view, the sun, and watching nature. I didn’t need to be somewhere to feel this, I felt it right where I was at.
THE IMPORTANCE OF PRACTICE
Another important aspect of life and being on a spiritual path that this experience reminded me of is the importance of practice without judgment or expectations. Since we were able to find the path of others before us and putting ‘reminders’ along the path, the next morning, we headed out again, this time getting to that first lake in no time at all, with less emotions and much less physical struggle.
This is what I’ve noticed with my practice over time. The struggle to just even start has diminished. When I’m in it, I’m able to commit to being there, in the process of it, knowing it’ll be what it is that day. No ‘have tos’ or ‘need tos.’ Don’t get me wrong, some days it can be more of a challenge, but I don’t make it personal. I’m able to see the stories and not get caught up in them as much or for as long.
From what we learned in crossing that first avalanche debris field, we were able to pick our way through about four of them with more confidence and clarity. Working through them with no expectations of where we would get for the day, enjoying the beauty all around us and just simply grateful for being outside allowed us to work through each challenge and eventually get through them.
NO FAIRY TALE ENDING
The thing is, once through the ‘avalanche debris challenge’, our journey had several other challenges until we made it back to our camp that afternoon. That’s life. You get through one challenge and another one happens.
Letting go of the conditioning of a fairy tale ending or a guarantee that when we ‘get through this’ we will have reached a specific point of completion is a big part of the ‘battle.’ Life will keep happening until the day we die. There’s no reaching a point of smooth sailing until the end. We’d be bored anyways if that happened. Plus, we wouldn’t be learning and growing. We need challenges in order to do this.
What I’m learning is what really matters is being willing to be present, face what is happening now, and letting go of trying to control something I have no control of anyways. This is the path towards a more peaceful and content mind.
I’m learning to enjoy both the calm of life and the waves of life. What life brings is not a reflection of who I am, it’s an opportunity for me to find who I am.