I’ve been traveling now for 4 weeks with little alone time and moving every 1-3 nights. It’s been fun and full of adventure…and I’ve just reached my limit.  Being out of routine for a month, my mind and body are tired.  It’s a good reminder for me of the importance of a consistent daily routine that includes exercise, ‘innercise’ and quiet time by myself. 11 years ago, I made a commitment to create lasting change in my mindset and lifestyle to support a more calm existence. It started with a shift in perspective and a resolve or intention.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

As the new year is almost here, many people think about setting a ‘resolution’ or goal for how they are going to change their behavior. And most of those people will fall back into their old patterns within a couple of months. 

Why is it so hard to keep resolutions and create lasting change?

There are a few reasons.

1. Resolutions are not specific, measurable and/or reasonable.

2. Resolutions rarely include change at the level of the mind.

3. When someone ‘falls off’ their new resolution habit, it’s viewed as a failure.

Setting a resolution, like typical goal setting, does not mean you are guaranteed success. Most resolutions that people make just aren’t helpful. It’s important to be specific. “I’m going to workout this year” is not a good goal. It’s too broad and it’s not measurable. Plus, if you haven’t been working out at all, what are your expectations for success? Is it going to the gym 3-5 days a week even though getting to the gym once a week rarely happens?

GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF

To create a resolution that is supportive to yourself, it’s necessary to be honest with yourself. This is a principle of Raja Yoga – Satya or truthfulness.  Be honest about where your body and mind are at right now. Where do you want to be in one year with working out? What are all the steps that need to happen to get you there? Why is this important to you?

Write down your ‘why’ so you can come back to it when you lose motivation because you will…it’s part of the change process. 

Then write down your weekly mini-goals that will slowly and consistently move you to your overall goal.

CREATE A RESOLVE

A resolution is a resolve to cultivate or bring something more into your daily life i.e. bring forth conscious change. Yes, your behavior (habit) needs to change but at a deeper level, your mindset also needs to shift. As Albert Einstein said – you can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it.  

I am going to challenge the definition of ‘resolution’ to be about behavior change and instead for it to incorporate lifestyle change. Lifestyle changes involve changing perspective as well as behavior…and this takes time.  But, lifestyle changes are lasting and become a part of the definition of ourselves.

Going back to the example resolve – ‘I’m going to workout this year’ – what is the ‘why? Why am I doing this? Let’s say it is ‘to lose weight.’ Why do I want to lose weight? To feel better. Why?

Keep asking ‘why’ until you get to the deeper reason. In this example, let’s say after I ask myself ‘why’ about 5 times, I realize I just want ‘to feel good enough.’

WHAT IS THE OBSTACLE?

What is keeping you from getting to that deeper desire? Write down all the obstacles (situations, thoughts, emotions) that keep you from feeling ‘good enough.’ 

From this list, ask yourself what do you need to cultivate more in your life to overcome these obstacles? Some examples are self-compassion, trust, self-love, honesty, ease, peace, caring, etc.  

Once you’ve written a list of 5-10, choose 1 or 2 of these to create a statement of intention. Possibly start off your statement with “I am” or “I have” or “I live.”

A couple of examples might be “I love and trust myself” or “I live with peace and ease.”

This statement is your resolve. Resolve to do what it takes to practice and invite this mindset to become a part of who you are. This is a mindset transformation. 

INTEGRATING A RESOLVE TAKES TIME

Notice, does this type of intentional resolve feel different than an ordinary new years resolution? I know it does for me. It hits me at a deeper, more spiritual level.

The final part of practicing honesty with this intentional resolve is committing to using this statement as your guide until it’s 100% true. Let that sink in…

Yes, it might take the rest of your life and that’s okay. Because can you imagine what your life would be like if you could confidently say “I love and trust myself?”

Along this path toward your resolve, you will stumble and it will be messy at times. You will make mistakes and fail…but since it’s a long term commitment, you pick yourself back up and keep going. Mistakes and failures are actually opportunities to learn and integrate that learning into new behaviors towards your intentional resolve.

Really, there are no mistakes or failures, only learnings.

RESOLVES CAN CREATE LASTING CHANGE

Over 11 years ago, I started working on a new belief after my first yoga teacher training. It was “I’m 100% responsible” for my life. With this new belief, one intention that I knew I wanted to move towards was being kind and loving towards myself.

So, even though the other day was emotionally rough for me when I hit my wall, I was able to ‘be’ with that ‘toughness’ and explore it. I could see that traveling the past month and the details of it all had taken their toll. And it would for anyone…I wasn’t alone in feeling how I did. Since my intention is to be loving and kind towards myself, I let my husband know I was tapping out for a day to spend time with myself and relax. I communicate my needs going forward to complete our traveling over the next ten days. These were all actions towards being more kind and loving to myself.

START NOW

Please, don’t sell yourself short and create a typical new year’s resolution. You don’t deserve to treat yourself that way. Take time and create an intentional resolve to guide you far into the future. Then make decisions and take actions from that resolve.

To complete the example, if my resolve is “I love and trust myself” then part of loving myself is taking care of the body. Part of taking care of loving the body is getting exercise. What is one action step towards doing this I can start in the next week?

This is how to create a transforming resolve and become more completely the amazing being you already are.  Don’t put off becoming YOU for another year.

Happy New Year!

Namaste.

PS. I’m looking for 3 women who’s new year intention is to find a calm mind and move through ‘out-of-control’ emotional reactions once and for all. If you’ve tried other ‘typical’ things that haven’t gotten you the results you want and you are ready to take a deeper dive into yourself for lasting change, watch my free masterclass – The Find Calm Formula™”. If it resonates, let’s talk and see if working together this year is a good fit!