When we hear the word “Love,” many times we think about others. We have been conditioned to search outside of ourselves for love and that we aren’t ‘complete’ unless we have an ‘other.’ Love is taught to be more of a feeling than a state of being. In America, most of us have been brought up on Disney fairy tales that, historically, have the message of living ‘happily ever after’ once you find that special ‘other,’ be it a prince or princess.
From a yoga perspective, love is a state of mind or being. We all possess the ability to connect to love at anytime. Our limiting beliefs, which are more fear-based, keep us either in delusion that we can only find it outside of ourselves, that we aren’t worthy or don’t deserve love. The practices of Yoga help to unlearn these limiting beliefs through practices that help connect within. One of the fundamental beliefs of Yoga is that we all are already beings of love.
One of those practices to connect to the mind state of love comes from the Yamas, one of the ten ethical practices of yoga. The Yamas are principles that act as guides in how to interact with the world to decrease suffering. For me, this means practicing using daily life to come from a loving, heart-based state of mind no matter what life brings.
SATYA: TRUTHFULNESS
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Satya is the second out of five Yamas. It translates to mean ‘Truthfulness’ and is an important practice to connect to love. Specifically, self-love. If you want to be a more loving being, you must learn to love yourself first. All the negative mind states we find our mind falling into comes directly from our relationship with ourselves. (That’s something to reflect on!)
Satya asks us to be consciously aware of when we are speaking our truth and being authentic, versus not. In the USA, we are trained to believe that many of our emotions are not okay to express. We are taught we should be able to ‘buck up’, get through rough times and feeling things will keep us stuck. This belief ends up silencing a key part of our inner communication – emotions. When we don’t understand our emotions, coming from a place of truth and authenticity is early impossible.
An area in my life where practicing satya has been important is when people ask me to do things. I tend to say ‘yes’ too quickly and too often. This leads me feeling overwhelmed, spread to thin and anxiety builds to eventually burn out. Overdoing puts my body and mind on a roller coaster. Others may get their needs met but it’s at the cost of my own well being. Whether this comes from wanting others to view me as a ‘kind and wonderful person,’ trying to prove my worth, or a number of other fear and control based behaviors, I’ve come to realize I can not continue on this way.
LEARNING TO SAY ‘NO’
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If you find yourself relating to this, the practice of saying, ‘no,’ is important. I know first hand how challenging this can be. Guilt and self-doubt love to come up when I say ‘no’. But over time, saying ‘no’ and facing guilt and doubt as they arise, has helped me build self-trust, honor my needs, and realize guild and doubt aren’t ‘enemies’ to avoid. And people actually respect me MORE! Being truthful has strengthened all my relationships and those relationships that were ‘energy suckers’ have faded away. Setting boundaries through saying ‘no’ is a practice of Satya I use constantly.
3 MORE SATYA PRACTICES
Other practices of Satya:
1. Pause and Breathe. That age old saying of ‘just breathe’ actually helps to connect with our truth. Whether simply taking 3-5 deep breaths before responding or getting into the habit of saying, “let me think about that and get back to you,” pausing slows down the impulsive “yes” response. Waiting until initial emotions subside to connect more to facts of reality is another good policy of decision making. It’s amazing how much ‘feel good’ emotions of excitement and a swing of happiness can sweep us off our feet, causing us to make choices that might not be in our best interest.
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2. A daily meditation practice. This can be finding a guided meditation you like (Insight Timer is an amazing free app with tens of thousands of guided meditations), a moving meditation practice, a breathing meditation practice, a sitting meditation practice, or just sitting in silence and observing what comes up. Anyone can access a meditation practice…anyone!
A regular meditation practice conditions the mind and body to pause, reflect, and let go of our bodies pre-programmed reaction behaviors. It will change your life, guaranteed. There’s even research out there that shows positive effects up to six months later just from practicing one time. What?! Here are the details of SYH’s ‘Learn To Meditate Course’.
3. Speak up! So many times it’s the things we don’t say that we regret later. Practice saying what you really want, even if it’s not what others want. I can’t tell you how many times over my 20 year relationship that I just went with what my partner says, instead of my own gut instinct. Then, inevitably, I end up feeling resentful and angry when things don’t go according to plan.
Even just speaking up allows for a conversation. It might be messy. That’s okay! And yes, this can lead to conflict…and conflict is a part of relationship. Working through conflict effectively is also a practice of Satya by finding out what you REALLY are reacting to. Cultivate trust in yourself by finding the courage to speak and share what you want and need.
I encourage you to choose just one of these practices to focus on for a month. See where things are at for you in regards to your relationship with yourself.💓
Shanti.