One comment that makes me cringe is when someone tells me, “I can’t meditate. I’ve tried but I just can’t sit still and relax.” The modern world has taught us that if change doesn’t quickly, there’s something wrong with us. When it comes to relaxing, the ‘easy way’ is to pop a pill, ‘unwind’ with alcohol or marijuana, or zone out to some screen for that ‘quick-fix.’ All of these methods are a way to relax though avoiding and escaping. In the end, it doesn’t last. It’s an external ‘fix’ to and internal struggle. In the end, these distractions cause the mind to be more restless. The truth is a calm mind doesn’t happen overnight.

THE MIND

The mind’s job is to think. You’ve spent decades allowing your mind to dart from one topic to another like a ping pong. Add on top of that processed, sugary foods and caffeine to rev up the nervous system and our hand-held, portable information machines with their stimulating blue screens! It’s no wonder globally, anxiety and depression have increased.

The mind is on thinking overload. It has been trained to think, think, think. Then, when it’s time to go to bed, it keeps on thinking like a treadmill that can’t be shut off.

In order to calm and ground a mind like this, it has to be untrained and retrained. I hate to break it to you…but it doesn’t happen in 21-30 days.

A CALM MIND DOESN’T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT

Here’s an example that comes from substance abuse recovery. The clients I’ve worked with around sobriety have consistently told me that after 2 years of being sober, they finally feel clear-headed. After decades of drinking, it can take up to two years for the mind to feel ‘clear.’ That’s 2 years without substances.

To obtain a calm, peaceful mind state that isn’t induced by a chemical you’re putting into your body, will take time and practice. I’m not telling you this to be a downer. I’m telling you this to help change expectations and let go of marketing myths that makes it easy to dismiss wonderful practices and tools that create a calm mind state. The good news is although it does take time, by starting a consistent practice, you can start to see changes within a few weeks. 

Tell me, why do you want a more calm mind?

I know I wanted a more calm mind because

• I was tired of being physically revved up and then crashing with physical exhaustion.
• My mind was like a yo-yo, going from excessive worry to numbing depression.
• The drama! My reactions to situations, ugh! I felt embarrassed after some of the things I said and did. It wasn’t how I wanted to show up in life.
• Sleep was an issue. For me it was waking up, unable to go back to sleep.
• I was so good at thinking and taking care of everyone else because of the worry that I had nothing left for me.

Maybe some of these are the things you’ve experienced. Maybe you have many other reasons that are on your list.

3 CONCEPTS TO START THE PROCESS

When I finally accepted that working towards a more calm and peaceful mind was a process, everything changed for me. The path for my process has been through traditional Yoga. This path has supported me to transform the way I live, my perceptions, and how I value myself. This didn’t happen overnight and I’m still in the process but I’m living a life filled with joy, gratitude, and compassion because of this process.

Here are 3 concepts to shift your perception and calm down the mind:

1. Conscious change is a process.
2. I am 100% responsible for your life.
3. Small adjustments turn into big changes.

100% RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE

The first concept, ‘conscious change is a process’,  I’ve already covered above.

‘I am 100% responsible for my life’ was the biggest learning for me from my first Yoga Teacher Training with my dear teacher, Prasad Rangnekar.  It wasn’t just a teacher training, it was also a self-development training. Traditionally, Yoga is a practice of self-development on the path to Self-realization. When I heard him say this statement, a light bulb went off in my head. I realized that most of my life drama was around blaming others and not taking responsibility for my part.

The power in really grasping this concept is HUGE! If I had to define the word empowerment, it would be “taking responsibility for what you can control.” Take the next year to practice this statement and it will be transformational, guaranteed.

SMALL ADJUSTMENTS

If you got into a boat in California, set a course and then put the boat on autopilot, you’d end up in one place on the other side of the Pacific. If you changed that course a week into your journey by .1 degrees, you would end up at a completely different location, far from that original destination. Small adjustments make big changes.

Some of you have probably read Dan Harris’ book, “10 Percent Happier” or subscribe to his app. The premise is that meditation doesn’t have to change your life but if it can help improve your life by 10%, isn’t it worth doing? I just love this way of putting it. Instead of being in a black and white, all or nothing mindset, helps you to see a wider view and relax – why not do it? If a conscious change action can make life a bit better, then it’s worth continuing, even if it doesn’t put you in a blissed out state. We don’t need to be on cloud nine, we just need to make incremental changes towards cultivating a peaceful mind state.

LASTING CHANGES

In the long run, creating small changes in habits can create mindset shifts which end up changing our decisions in how we meet life’s challenges. These small changes ripple out, influencing many things in our lives we could have never imagined. In fact, taking my first Yoga Teacher Training was the catalyst to eventually starting Samya Yoga Healing. I would have never predicted that! It was never on my radar to run my own business.

The Bhagavad Gita, several times, states that however small an action a person takes in the pursuit of calming the mind and connection to pure consciousness, eventually it will happen. We are all here, living, being supported by the universe to live fully as who we are. It is a process that we can’t force or make happen in a timeline that we see fit. When we can start to trust the process, take responsibility for what we can control, and make small adjustments…

Transformation happens.

Just focus on what you can control and keep practicing a few concepts that resonate with you. Over time, they will lead you to a more calm mind.

Shanti.

If you’re ready to dive deep into these 3 concepts of creating lasting change, have tried other things that haven’t worked and are feeling lost or stuck amidst midlife relationship changes, the Inner Roadmap™ Program might be a good fit for you. Learn about it here.