I just spent a week in the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina for a small family reunion with my in-laws. It’s a beautiful place overlooking a lake that reflects the lush, thick forest that surrounds it. Life is slower there. Time is spent filling the space between meals with time on the lake, outings, and time to just relax. With each passing day, I observed my mind letting go of the details of my usual daily life. I settled more into being present and feeling content. My mind slowed down. The sense of urgency and call to be busy quieted into the background. But all vacations must end. This is why lasting peace of mind is not a physical place, rather, it is a state and attitude of the mind.

CHASING PEACE OF MIND

Most of us chase after the next break or vacation, mistaking temporarily letting go of routine as the way to peace of mind. In that mistake, we work hard, push ourselves, and compromise daily routines that help calm the mind for the idea of a relaxing vacation.

There’s nothing wrong or bad about vacations! The issue is we create more anxiety and stress when we attach a peaceful mind state to a place, rather than accessing it within. The mind justifies burning the oil at both ends and sacrificing self-care activities because ‘I’ll be doing nothing and relaxing soon.’ Vacations end up being more of a decompression period rather than a time to be fully present and enjoying where you are.

This is not true peace.

The veil of this misunderstanding and justification, keeps us focused outside of ourselves. The truth of cultivating peace of mind is that it doesn’t depend on what’s happening in the world. It depends on the lens with which we view the world. It’s an inside out process, not the other way around.

I can remember many times when I’ve pushed myself harder the week before a vacation break, exhausting myself. I enter a long awaited break depleted and numbing out to decompress for a few days. When I recover, I usually get a couple days of being present and enjoying myself then it’s back to life again. Barely recovered, back to pushing through until the next break. The cycle repeats itself over and over.

PEACE IS AN INNER STATE

There’s a specific memory I have of a friend, who was stuck in this loop. We had just finished a backpack trip. She said that she wished she had more time out in the wilderness. Then she stated, “I’m glad I already have another vacation plan so I have something to get me through.” I felt so sad and I empathized with her because I’ve been there so many times too. And, in that moment, I also realized that I had made a shift. I was done putting energy towards that pattern. Now I put my effort into creating a life full of habits that create a peaceful mind lifestyle. Focusing on cultivating true, lasting peace of mind.

So how does one make this shift and create a lifestyle of peace rather than chasing moments of peace?

The mind tends to do what it’s been trained to do – go out into the external world to solve inner conflicts and struggles. Changing jobs, activities, relationships in order to feel better. But in reality, the issue is within us.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women in my Inner Roadmap Program share when they use the framework I teach them in their relationships – with kids, spouses, and friends – everything changes. Focusing within and taking responsibility for their reaction ended conflict. There was more calm in their mind. They felt more connected.

The secret is, not that you need more money, time, or stuff to find peace. It’s actually letting go of those external things, then refocusing on what’s happening within you that creates the shift. When you address the root cause, the ‘solution’ will naturally happen. There’s no need to stress, control, and worry. What needs to happen next will happen as you take the necessary action towards what is in your control. 

3 STEPS FROM YOGA TO CULTIVATE A LIFESTYLE OF PEACE

Peace of mind can be found at any time, anywhere by refining the perception of the mind. It is an inside job within your mind. All it requires is for you to live your life, do your work and change the attitude to which you do it. 

One of my favorite verses from Patanjali Yoga Sutras 2.33, gives a specific practice to shift into a lifestyle of cultivating peace of mind. It states that when there is a negative thought wave, cultivate the opposite. The practice and implementation of these words is as follows:

• Awareness of negative thought waves within you.
• Take some time with that reaction to gain understanding.
• Consciously take action towards the opposite of that negative thought wave so you can move through the reaction 

Keep repeating this practice over and over again and you WILL observe your mind start to shift. 

All the sudden, where there was a reaction in certain situations, that reaction is no more. In that space calm, clarity, and peace of mind flow in more and more. 

It may seem impossible and far-fetched. You might even tell me, “I’ve tried this already, Twyla.” But I guarantee that if you commit and practice this until you no longer have to think about it…

There will be a remarkable shift from reacting to responding. From anxiety, worry, and stress to calm, clarity, and contentment.

STILL TAKE VACATIONS

Still travel and go on vacations! It’s just their purpose in your life will change. They won’t be what you depend on for experiencing calm in your life. Instead, vacations will just be another place to do your practice. Daily life will be filled with more opportunities to practice and connect with peace.  Now you are living a lifestyle focused on peace of mind so every situation helps to get closer to longer periods of peace. There’s no need to long for and cling to breaks and vacations! Instead, enjoy simply the change of scenery and cultivating other interests you have in life.

If this is what you’re desiring in your life – more peace of mind – there’s no need to waste another moment! Start here with this free training.

Shanti.

P.S. If you’re curious about my 4-month online course for women stuck in anxious reactions who are ready to let go, find their voice, and move through conflict confidently…let’s chat and see if it’s a good fit. Schedule a free, 45-minute Connection Call here at any time.