Why do we feel the need to be busy and keep ‘doing’? Why do we struggle to rest, be still, and be quiet? What causes us to feel we need more and more…even though we might already have everything we need?

From the point of view of a Traditional Yoga text, Patanjali Yoga Sutras, the root cause of our suffering is mistaken identity. We mistake the roles we play, which change and are transitory, for ‘Who I am.’ From this Yogic point of view, whatever changes can not be the truth of ‘I am’.

THE PATTERNS THAT LIMIT

A person feels the need to keep ‘doing’ because they mistake their roles as who they are. When a person feels insecure or ‘not good enough,’ to prove they are worthy and good enough then they must do more. This leads many of us to over-do and over-commit. We are trying to show we are worthy and enough.

If taking action is the way to prove one’s value and worth, then taking time to rest and be still is viewed as ‘lazy’ or a ‘luxury’.  Ao any time you try to relax, the mind and body start to feel restless and thoughts that “I should be…” come up. Or the mind thinks, when I finish______, then I can relax. For most people, we have to unlearn these beliefs about ‘doing’ in order to allow ourselves to truly relax.

Because most of us, deep down, feel “I am not good enough,” accumulating things also gets disguised as a solution. If we have a big house, luxury car, right clothes, and latest gadgets then we will be ‘secure.’ Since these things are outside of ourselves, they are not a solution for an inside problem. They do not create lasting change. In fact, they end up causing more stress because now there are more things to take care of and maintain. What you ‘need’ to have becomes a moving target that’s never satisfied.

Can you relate?

THE ‘IT’S WHO I AM’ MYTH

I have heard many people tell me, “well that’s just who I am.” To me, that statement communicates, “I’m not willing to change,” or “I’m not responsible.” When we decide to fight against change or dismiss any responsibility, it ends up being disempowering in the long run. The truth is, any behavior or pattern is not the essence of ‘who I am’ because it changes. Therefore, we can all change our behaviors and patterns. I’m not saying it’s easy. But I’m saying you can change and it’s your choice not to.

This statement, well that’s just who I am,” usually comes after statements that complain and blame external factors for feeling miserable and unhappy. Most people on this planet are actually quite comfortable in misery and suffering. Most will stay there for their entire lives. They continue to stay focused on the external world, feeling stuck. But if you’re reading this, my hunch is you are tired of being stuck. You want want to be able to relax and enjoy life more.

RELAX AND BE STILL

All paths of Traditional Yoga invite us to ‘do it differently’. What I mean my this is when we are aware of a reaction that causes us to suffer, we have a choice to stop the reaction and choose a different action. The actual ‘solution’ not feeling good enough is to stop proving, striving and doing. This is doing the opposite of what our pattern tells us to do. In order to ‘do it differently’, we must practice turning awareness inward and get curious about ourselves, our internal world. 

No, it doesn’t change everything overnight. Unlearning long standing patterns does take time. It differently takes consistent practice because it is a transformation. This new way of meeting our reactions ends up actually creating a different way of living and being. In order to find more calm and peace, it requires a different mindset than the one we have been taught –  a ‘doing’ mindset..  

If you’re tired of being like a hamster running its wheel day after day and want to live differently, here are some simple ways to start doing. It is a process of returning back to yourself. It requires letting go of what isn’t serving a peaceful way of life. You don’t have to create a ‘new’ you, you just have to allow yourself to actually be you. Start to peel away the stories and images that aren’t actually ‘you’ through these practices. Keep doing them over and over. Commit to doing them for the next year and see what happens.

PRACTICES FOR AN INWARD LIFE

1. Pause and breathe. All of us have to learn to pause more in this ‘doing’ life. This is exactly what the saying “stop and smell the roses” is all about. The breath is ALWAYS in the present moment so taking time to consciously breathe and focus on the breath, helps to bring your mind to the present. This practice – pause and breathe – alone can be life changing.

The breathing to begin practicing is quite simple. Invite the exhale to slow down and breathe preferably through the nose. Breathing through the nose cna activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest and digest.

Do this 5-10 times a day. Remember to do it by setting an alarm or reminder on your phone or watch. Commit to doing this for 30 days and notice what happens.

2. Sit outside and notice. Being in nature is important for all our bodies and minds. Find a spot on a porch, lawn, park, or trail and sit down. Set a timer for 2 minutes. Then just observe nature through your senses. Notice what you see, hear, smell, feel and maybe even taste. No need to analyze or judge. Just observe.

This practice combines our habit of ‘doing’ with being quiet. It is a way to meet the habit of ‘doing’ with the path towards stillness. You give the mind something specific to focus on and let go of all other thoughts. Try to do this at least once a day.

3. Get curious about YOUR reactions. We spend so much time wanting everyone else to change, judging them and giving advice. All of this is a way to avoid and distract us from ourselves. That habit keeps us further and further away from the peace we desire.

Focus on what you can control, yourself. That’s it. Get to know yourself, your reactions. Become aware of you.

IT TRULY IS SIMPLE

I know these three practices aren’t flashy and gimmicky. They are simple and most likely you already know about them…you’re just not doing them. All three are practices rooted in traditional teachings of Yoga. This is Yoga for the Mind. Practice is the key to breaking through old patterns and beliefs to create lasting change.

Shanti.

P.S. Does this blog resonate with you? Do you want to know more about how to implement these strategies in daily life to move from reacting to a calm response? This is exactly what I teach in my Inner Roadmap Program. Click on this link to learn more and then schedule a Clarity Call to determine if it’s a good fit for you.